True Colors
by Neva
Summary: Third in a series (follows Shaky Ground and Something More Than This).For our favorite mutants, evil is hitting too close to home...way too close. Lance/Kitty, Rogue/Alex, Scott torture, and very anti-Xavier.
1. Prologue

3evolutionfic 

A/N: So, here it is -- the final volume of this trilogy. It might not exactly jibe with the new season, particularly in terms of the Lance/Kitty plot. But I warned you, right? In the meantime, enjoy the romance, the danger, and the really choice villain.  
  
Disclaimer: Do I own the X-men Evo characters? I think not. Do I even need to state which one I would like to own? Or stress once again how much he rocks my world? Didn't think so.   
  
Dedication: For those who have supported me in my insanity. Long live the anti-Xavier cause!  
  
Prologue  
  
That's what the Xavier Institute is all about -- control.  
--Jean Grey  
  
It was slow going, and like a swimmer with a great deal of distance still to go, he was sure that he'd run out of energy before he reached the surface...and then he'd sink again, and kick himself for thinking he had even the slightest chance.  
  
_You've made the wrong decision, Scott, and you need to be corrected._ Always those words, after he had almost run away, or disagreed with X-men doctrine, or just plain pissed Xavier off. Always the terrible helpless feeling, before every thought of rebellion and all hope of escape were stifled, always the knowledge that in a moment, he would be the fearless leader that everyone knew best, and he wouldn't even have the slightest idea that anything was wrong.  
  
Last time... he really thought he'd be able to change things for the better. Not just for himself, but for his friends  
  
_(I still care about them, I know that's not Xavier or even Cyclops, that's Scott, that's me)_  
  
and maybe for all mutants  
  
_(I want acceptance, that's what got me into this in the first place, we need to stop hiding, I need to stop hiding)_  
  
and Xavier hadn't liked that one bit. And Scott should have known what was coming. Hopeless. It was hopeless. And the very humans they were supposed to protect had paid  
  
_(how could he do that to them)  
_  
and when he had opened his mouth to say exactly what he thought of that, the words had caught in his throat and the familiar vise had clamped down on his mind and he had heard himself saying _I'm-sorry-Professor-you-were-right_ for what seemed like the hundredth time and nobody knew. Nobody even guessed.  
  
And now he was awake again. Aware. He was himself again, alone in his room, and shaking all over, trying to glean some hope from what Rogue had said. _ You know that we're going to help you. Any way we can._ And he wished more than anything that he could believe her, even though he knew what a bad mistake that would be. She was his only hope. If she and Kitty  
  
_(who's now back together with Lance, score one for us)_  
  
could somehow make the others listen, maybe they'd have a chance.  
  
Maybe he'd no longer have to worry about whether his thoughts were really his own.  
  
Maybe the long blank spots, the sensation of being watched all the time, the feeling of indescribable horror when he tried to move or speak or even question Xavier in his thoughts and was unable to do any of those things, would finally end.  
  
And as for right now, if he sat there and tried to keep his head reasonably clear, he'd have a little longer. Maybe he'd even get up enough courage to talk to someone, let them see the person he really was behind the fearless leader.  
  
_(come on, tell Jean everything, scream if you have to and bring the others running, just do it before...)_  
  
I don't think so.  
  
_(...that happens.)_  
  
Scott froze, wondering how much had been overheard. If it included anything about Rogue... he had to warn her.  
  
Do you think they'll listen to your rantings? Be reasonable, Cyclops. Ever-so-slight emphasis on the last word.  
  
Scott gritted his teeth. _Not this time,_ he thought. _Please leave me alone, don't hurt me, don't hurt the others..._  
  
You are the leader, and they will listen to you. But as you know, you have made the wrong decision, and you must be corrected.  
  
It wasn't like he hadn't known this was coming, but he still resisted as best he could, even as the real reasons for Sara's and Alex's departures, not to mention Rogue's promise and his own inner struggle, were sucked into the darkness. He wanted to scream -- not in pain (one of the most horrible things about having your mind controlled was that it didn't actually hurt), but in shame and desperation. For Rogue. For Alex. For Kitty. For Sara  
  
who was wrong  
  
_(no!)_  
  
_(yes, Scott, Sara was evil, she was wrong, and the professor...)_  
  
...was right.  
  
The professor was always right.  
  
A/N: Scott angst -- nothing better! Stick around for chapter 1, and don't forget to review!   



	2. Many Happy Returns

3evolutionfic1 

  
Chapter 1: Many Happy Returns  
  
Xavier probably believed that he was too dignified to sing, and Logan undoubtedly thought himself way too cool. But everyone else was belting out, Happy birthday, dear Kitty, at the tops of their respective lungs.  
  
Kitty blew out all seventeen candles, glad that they'd added the extra one -- she was going to need all the luck she could get. I wish that I could tell the others about Lance, she thought. And I wish that Rogue would be happy for a change.  
  
Kurt chirped. Zis vun is from me. He held out a sloppily wrapped package. Sorry for the bad wrapping job.  
  
It's what's inside that counts, said Kitty, opening the package and lifting out something red and spotted. It's a ladybug hat, she observed.  
  
Do you like it?  
  
Very much. She kissed his cheek, and he turned a shade of red that clashed deeply with his fur. Thank you. Now, who's next?  
  
Soon, all her presents were opened except one: a small, unwrapped box that looked like it might hold jewelry. Jean peered closer. What's this?  
  
Kitty shrugged. I don't know. It was in my desk today.  
  
Do you have any idea who it's from?  
  
It doesn't say. Maybe there's a note inside. She made to remove the lid of the box.  
  
Xavier held up a hand. Not so fast, Kitty. You've received a strange package from an unknown source, and you can't be too careful.  
  
What, do you think it's dangerous? Rogue asked, sounding exasperated.  
  
I wouldn't rule it out, Logan growled.  
  
It's a really tiny box. Kitty held it up to her ear. And it's not ticking or anything. Before Xavier could open his mouth again, she had opened the box to reveal...  
  
...a pair of totally innocent-looking silver earrings, shaped like cats. Oh, wow! she said softly.  
  
They're very pretty, Jean acknowledged. Is there a note?  
  
Kitty lifted the cotton that the earrings had rested on, turned it over.   
  
It looks like Kitty's got a secret admirer, Ororo remarked, smiling.  
  
Rogue elbowed Kitty. Maybe they're from Lance.  
  
She snorted. You really, like, think that Lance Alvers has this much class? She looked around. Anyone? I didn't think so.  
  
He's not still bothering you, is he? Scott asked.  
  
said Kitty, truthfully enough. It was becoming hard just to keep a straight face. She had no idea how Rogue even managed it. I guess he doesn't have any reason to anymore. That was the truth, too. So, who's for cake?  
  
Later, when they were all suitably stuffed and back in their respective rooms, Kitty turned to Rogue. I am so going to kill you.  
  
  
  
Why'd you bring up Lance? I was actually beginning to think that they'd forgotten to hate him.  
  
I couldn't resist. Rogue's violet lips curved into a saucy smile. So, are you gonna thank him tomorrow?  
  
I'm going to wear the earrings tomorrow, Kitty replied, and hopefully he'll get the message. But you know that I don't spend that much time with him at school. I don't want people to start talking.  
  
Rogue sighed. When are you two going to stop this sneaking around?  
  
Kitty flopped onto the bed, then sat up and stared her roommate in the eye. Xavier thought that the fact that Lance and I liked each other was a good reason to take over my mind, she said solemnly. I'm not taking any chances.  
  
He would want to control your mind if you didn't like the wallpaper. And while we're on that topic --  
  
  
  
No, Xavier. I think we should start telling other people what's going down.  
  
You know they won't listen, Kitty reminded her.  
  
They didn't listen when he was actually in the room, blaming someone else for what he did to you and Scott. There was a brief pause after this statement, but the full significance was a solid weight between them. None of the X-men had heard from Sara Grey since that night, and if Jean knew anything about where her sister had gone, she was keeping quiet about it. Rogue and Kitty, however, were probably the only ones who actually hoped that Sara was okay, and that she'd finally found a place where nobody would judge her unfairly.  
  
But you think that if we talk to them one-on-one, they'll automatically listen to us? Kitty asked skeptically.  
  
It's worth a shot. Listen, every time I talk to Alex, he asks if I've thought of something yet. I hate having to tell him that I'm totally clueless.  
  
It's so totally unfair that he left just when something was finally happening between the two of you.  
  
Rogue smiled again, but this time it didn't reach her eyes. Believe me, she said. Nothing about the situation we're in now is fair. 


	3. So Far Away

3evolutionfic2 

Chapter 2: So Far Away  
  
When you're with the X-men, you're never alone.  
-- Scott Summers  
  
...so we're all going to this talent-show thing on Friday, said Scott. Some girl got Kitty to be in her dance routine.  
  
Man, does everyone go to watch whenever any of you has a thing? Alex complained.  
  
What's the matter, jealous?  
  
It would rule if you guys would come and watch the finals. It's between me and these two other surf rats, and they're both losers. You can be there when I take home the trophy.  
  
Well, don't count your trophies before they're hatched, Scott warned.  
  
Since when are trophies hatched? I mean, I know that science is coming up with new stuff every day, but...  
  
Scott actually laughed. I have a better idea. Why don't you come to visit us? Now that you've had some time away, you could try the X-men life on for size again.  
  
On the screen, Alex's normally cheerful expression slowly soured, as it often did when Scott suggested that he return. I really don't know. Something about following someone else's cause kind of turns me off. I got enough of that when I was with the Brotherhood.  
  
You wouldn't have to make any big decisions. I know one person who would be happy.  
  
Speaking of Rogue, how's she doing?  
  
From the corner of his eye, Scott caught a glimpse of a familiar white-streaked head peeking around the doorframe. You can ask her yourself, he said, rising from his chair. On the way out, he told her, He's all yours.  
  
She made a beeline for the chair.   
  
How's my favorite X-babe?  
  
She's as well as she can be under the circumstances, Rogue sighed.  
  
So you're holding up okay? That still _is_ you, isn't it?  
  
Ha-ha, very funny.  
  
Did I tell you I won the semi-finals?  
  
You're kidding! she exclaimed, barely recognizing her own voice. That's great!  
  
Thanks. I invited Scott to come and watch me win the finals, but I was thinking that you could make a trip down here anyway. We could see the sights. Alex grinned evilly. I could teach you to surf.  
  
Should I be worried? she asked.  
  
And you could meet my parents, too. They're psyched to find out more about the mystery woman who stole Alex's heart and caused him to hum Sarah McLachlan songs while he does the dishes.' Come on, Rogue, it would be great.  
  
I know it would, she admitted, and for a moment, she was actually considering it. _Me and Alex, together on the beach, him talking in that surf-rat language I can never make sense of, sharing stories of our disastrous pasts and thanking all the gods and their mothers-in-law that we found each other. Maybe I could even forget for a little while...  
  
...that Scott and Kitty and the others would be left up here with Xavier._ I'm sorry, sugah. I can't. Remember what I have to do here.  
  
Alex, too, looked like he had come back down to earth. Scott seemed fine.  
  
You know that's the problem. He _seemed_ fine. But that doesn't mean he is. She shook her head. I'm so used to the way that he is. The truth is still hard to believe.  
  
Alex nodded. When I'm listening to him, I end up thinking, Who am I hearing, really?' I'm getting all these weird, paranoid thoughts, like maybe the hurricane we got caught in wasn't an accident.  
  
Okay, that _is_ paranoid, she told him.  
  
Think about it for a second. Storm can do stuff like that, right?  
  
A) She can't do it from that far away, and 2) Do you honestly think that she'd want to hurt Scott?  
  
Who says she wanted to?  
  
Rogue sighed again. Alex, Xavier is not responsible for what happened to the two of you. He is, however, responsible for most of the other misfortunes going on in our lives. Sara's gone, Kitty's afraid to be seen with Lance, Scott can't even think his own thoughts, and you and I...  
  
I never should have left, he said gloomily. Nothing could make me feel better about being away from you.  
  
We're doing everything we can to come up with something. Anything. But it's so hard, and you know how careful we have to be. Trust us, okay? Reluctantly, he nodded. And please tell me about the semi-finals.  
  
She sat there for a long time after the screen had finally gone blank. Maybe it had been a mistake, letting Alex leave. She certainly wasn't coming up with any more ideas without him around than she would have otherwise, and every day she was becoming more afraid that Xavier would find out that they were planning(?) to strike against him. Sometimes she wondered why she was even trying. He was, after all, the one who had made this family what it was.  
  
But in her heart, Rogue knew that wasn't true. He had assembled the team, but if love existed among them (which she was sure it did, even though, up until she'd met Alex, she'd wondered if she would know love when she saw it), they had built that themselves. And there was no way she was giving that up without a fight.  
  
If only she knew how.  
  
A/N: I swear that I will deal with Lance and Kitty and the underground anti-Xavier resistance in later chapters, but I cannot resist the Rogue/Alex angst. I realize that I've now mentioned Sara at least once in each chapter. Obviously, I haven't forgotten about her, and we will run into her again.  
  



	4. The Talent Show

3evolutionfic3 

Disclaimer: The song from which I took an excerpt belongs to Dido.  
  
Chapter 3: The Talent Show  
  
Catching sight of the purple-haired girl coming through the doors, Rogue stood and waved.Risty! Over here!   
  
Risty clambered up the aisle, ignored pointed Looks from Scott, and plopped down in the last remaining seat. What's up?  
  
Not much. You're grinning like an idiot, though. You know that, right?  
  
She hadn't. I was kind of thinking about this guy I know, she explained.  
  
Your boyfriend? Risty asked, clearly surprised.  
  
Yeah. He lives in Hawaii, and I got to talk to him the other day. It had been one of the most depressing conversations of her life, but it had been worth it.  
  
What's his name?  
  
Alex. He's Scott's brother, actually. He lived with us for a while, but then... Rogue stopped, realizing that she was about to say way, way too much. It's kind of a long story. So, why aren't you up there? She gestured at the stage.  
  
Risty grimaced. Me? I get nervous even thinking about those people down there. She gestured at Barry McGee, who was playing the trumpet (sort of). The girl preceding him had delivered a standup routine in which one joke in five was actually funny.  
  
Me, too. The stage isn't for me. _Even though I've been carrying off one hell of a performance for the last few months, if I do say so myself._ We all came to watch Kitty. She's in Tessa Vandalaye's dance.  
  
All of you are here?  
  
Rogue pointed.  
  
Risty made a non-commital noise, and Rogue suddenly remembered a day not too long ago, when the two of them had walked back to the Institute together after a party. Everyone had come into the hall to stare at the human intruder (Kitty, as it happened, had phased right through the wall) and Xavier had said right to her face that all visits had to be set up in advance, for Obvious Reasons. Afterward, Rogue had breathed a sigh of relief that what she'd feared might happen hadn't happened. He'd made it very clear that what had happened at the soccer game wasn't going to become a regular occurrence, but, of course, why should she believe anything he said?  
  
_Relax, nothing like that happened, and you have one friend who doesn't think you're crazy. You're here to watch Kitty dance and to actually enjoy yourself for one evening. You think you can do that?_  
  
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a very familiar figure in a torn denim jacket sidle into a chair across the balcony. It was weird, jarring, to see him there without the rest of the Brotherhood, weird, in fact, to see him there at all. Not that there was any question about why.  
  
Barry cleared the stage (finally), soon to be replaced by five girls in gauzy skirts and sparkly tops. Tessa Vandalaye was in the lead, looking completely collected as usual. She was so removed from everything that she put Rogue herself to shame. And Kitty was off to the side, just looking nervous.  
  
The music started up -- a familiar, gushy song that the radio seemed to enjoy playing every five minutes.  
  
_I didn't here you leave  
I wonder, how am I still here?  
And I don't wanna move a thing  
'Cause it might change my memories..._  
  
At the line, Change my memories, Rogue snorted loudly. None of the others noticed -- they were too busy watching the dancers, who had begun gyrating and waving their arms in perfectly synchronized movements. She had to admit -- Kitty was pretty good. Her eyes should have remained on the other dancers, but even from where Rogue sat, she saw Kitty's eyes moving up, up -- yes! She met Lance's gaze with her own, and their eyes stayed locked for the rest of the song.  
  
**  
  
We did it! Tessa yelped, finally losing her cool for once as she and her friends entangled in a collective embrace.   
  
Kitty hesitated a moment, then joined them. I had a lot of fun.  
  
You were fantastic, Greta informed her. You should like, totally look into this dancing thing!  
  
Lindsay agreed.  
  
_I never realized how silly all those and sounded before,_ Kitty thought to herself.  
  
We're going to DeMazza's for a victory pizza, remember? Tessa said.  
  
Kitty repeated. I didn't even know we were being judged.  
  
We beat the odds, girl. We went on stage, we didn't mess up, and Lin didn't decide to blow chunks once she got up in front of everyone. Tessa paused. You're coming, right?  
  
Sorry. Got plans. Kitty hung up her costume and reached for her jacket. Have fun, though, 'kay?  
  
You're not going back home with all your friends from the Institute, are you?  
  
She grabbed her bag and moved toward the door. Thanks again for letting me be in this, Tess. See you guys tomorrow!  
  
He was waiting for her when she walked out into the chill night, leaning against the wall and blending in with the shadows. Nice camouflage, she commented. Must be a villain thing.  
  
Lance just shook his head and pulled her toward him. You were great tonight.  
  
Kitty leaned against him, acutely aware of how good the fabric of his jacket felt against her cheek, of his familiar smell, and, most of all, of how wonderful it felt to be back in his arms. For a moment, time didn't stand still, it moved backward. All the terror and shame and confusion seemed to wash away, and they were back at the beginning again...except this time, pain and betrayal and mind control were not going to be part of their future. And they still don't know, she murmured, sensing that he was going to ask yet again.  
  
Lance drew back. Come on, Kitty, what are you so scared of?  
  
It'll make me sound pathetic.  
  
Not happening. Sorry.  
  
Lance, you know what I'm so scared of, she said patiently. But in case you don't, I'll give you a teensy hint. Six letters, rhymes with   
  
  
  
He still doesn't know the little mind trick he pulled on me didn't work the way it was supposed to. But if any of the others -- especially Scott -- catch us together, then he _will_ know, and this time he'll make sure I don't get away.  
  
I thought you said that Summers was on your side, said Lance.  
  
He is. Sort of. Xavier is controlling his mind most of the time, and that's why we have to be careful.  
  
Lance muttered. Our future together depends on whether Shades can stop being a wuss now and then.  
  
We have a future together? she asked, raising her eyebrows.  
  
Hey, stranger things have happened. He looked around to make sure nobody was watching, tipped her chin up, and kissed her.  
  
After a moment in which she decided that she could easily have stayed like this forever, she pulled away from him anyway. Can you meet me after school tomorrow?  
  
No problem. I'll be by the steps. Beats hanging out with my nutty housmates.  
  
Or doing homework? she said slyly.  
  
You got me.   
  
I'll see you tomorrow, she whispered, and took off toward the parking lot.  
  
  
  
  



	5. A Fool In Love

3evolutionfic4 

A/N: I got up early this morning to watch Evo and am thus in a sea of Lance-induced happiness. Sigh.  
  
Chapter 4: A Fool In Love  
  
From where he was crouched on the table, Toad leaned over and snapped his fingers. Lancey-Boy, are you with us?  
  
Pietro replied. He got to watch Kitty-Cat dance tonight. Hey, watch this. Who am I? He pressed his fingertips to either side of his head and closed his eyes. I sense that you are thinking about someone deeply, Lance, he said, slowing his speech enough to deliver a passable imitation.  
  
Don't mock Xavier, Lance said suddenly.  
  
Pietro and Toad turned and stared at him, shocked.   
  
What he does isn't funny. And with that, Lance rose and stalked out of the room.  
  
The other two stared at each other. You know, when he got back together with Kitty, I thought he was finally going to act like a normal human being again, said Pietro. Even though I know that's impossible. But we've lost hope. He's flipped.  
  
**  
  
_I'm glad that's over. Not that I didn't enjoy dancing -- I'll admit it, I'm addicted to attention and applause -- but if I had to spend one more minute with Lindsay and Greta, I know I would have gone postal. Did I really used to talk like that?  
  
A certain someone was waiting for me when I got outside, but we couldn't spend that much time together. I have to pretend like I still despise him, or Xavier will get suspicious.  
  
Sneaking around to be with some delinquent is something that good girl Kitty would never do. And it's something the X-men's innocent little Shadowcat would NEVER do, when you consider that the delinquent in question is big scary Avalanche. Stupid, stupid codename, by the way.   
  
I never saw this coming. Not in a million years. Some people think I'm the kind of girl who must have had lots of boyfriends in her life, but before this, I only had one. Back home. We were barely even a couple; he was this guy I sat across from in science and had a major crush on. I was never that good at flirting, so I guess I made it pretty obvious that I liked him.  
  
With Lance, there's no need to play by all the stupid flirting rules that were set in stone in junior high. No need for pretending, and no need to hide from each other. There is, however, a need to hide from other people when we're together, which makes me feel less like a bad girl and more like the heroines in the romance novels that have made my mom so famous. Forbidden love and all that. If I become a writer, which sometimes I think might happen, I'm not going to waste my time with forbidden-romance stories. I'll have had enough of that to last a lifetime.  
  
Rogue's been so great -- covering for me when I want to be with Lance, waking me up when I have those stupid nightmares, thinking up new and interesting ways to kick Xavier's ass all the way to Albania. She's watching out for all of us -- me, the Brotherhood, Scott... I know she misses Alex, though, even though she doesn't like to talk about it._  
  
Kitty shut her laptop and sighed.  
  
Are you done rhapsodizing for tonight? Rogue asked, grinning.  
  
Pretty much. I notice you've been keeping a journal, too.  
  
Rogue's pale skin turned pink. Well, yeah. I mean, someone has to keep track of all that we've been doing.  
  
Which is what? Kitty asked sharply. No offense, but we haven't made much progress. Scott's still brainwashed, I'm still sneaking around, and you're still miserable.  
  
I am not miserable. I just have a lot on my mind, remember? You could think of something, instead of daydreaming about Earthquake Boy.  
  
Kitty's temper was rising rapidly. You're the one who wanted to see us together again, right? You're the one who, like, grabbed me to keep from running out the door when I found out that Xavier had been controlling me. And you're also the one who's insisting on all this secrecy. You want an idea? Here's an idea: We tell someone what's been going on here.  
  
Like any of them would believe us. He doesn't need to use his power to string them along.  
  
I'm not talking about our friends _here_, Kitty said, exasperated.  
  
You mean someone at school? Three words, sugah: soccer game incident.  
  
We won't go telling everyone at once, Kitty explained. I was thinking that you could tell someone who already suspects something. Like Risty. She'd be cool about it.  
  
I like it, said Rogue, nodding. But what good will that... She trailed off. Wait. I have another idea. She smiled mysteriously.  
  
What? What's your other idea?  
  
I can't tell you until I'm sure it'll work. If it doesn't, we could get in big trouble, and the whole school might end up finding out anyway.  
  
Rogue, I'm going to kill you!  
  
Okay, you win. We're going to tell someone who suspects, all right. She moved to shut the door and started to explain.  
  
  



	6. Moving Mountains

3evolutionfic5 

Chapter 5: Moving Mountains  
  
All I want is the truth; just give me some truth.  
-- John Lennon  
  
Edward Kelly looked up just in time to see the two girls entering his office...and had the strangest feeling that he had seen them before. Well, of course he had seen them before, he reasoned. But they didn't look familiar just because they were students at Bayville. There was another reason, an infinitely more important one. Why couldn't he remember?  
  
He settled for the one whose name he actually knew. What can I do for you, Miss Pryde? The other girl, the one with the streaks in her hair and the Goth makeup, had some sort of name that couldn't possibly be her own.  
  
This is kind of complicated, Kitty said. Rogue can really explain it better than I can.  
  
It's about what happened at the soccer game a while back, Rogue began.  
  
If you're worried about the damage done, repairs are progressing smoothly, and everything will be fine before you know it.  
  
That's not exactly what I'm talking about, said Rogue. In her sixteen years, she had known herself to feel intimidated, terrified, and helpless. But nervous? Never. Until now. It has to do with the guy who got up in front of everyone and started talking about mutants.  
  
Kelly's face whitened. Nothing like that happened. I don't know what the two of you are talking about.  
  
_It's too late_, Kitty thought. _Either he's completely denying what he saw, or Xavier's already gotten to him.  
_  
It did happen, Rogue said firmly. He told everyone that there were mutants at Bayville High. And then his friends trashed the stadium.  
  
Ridiculous. If such a thing happened, then how come none of the other students have mentioned it? Three-quarters of them were at the game, and people don't simply forget something that drastic.  
  
Yes, they do, Rogue said quietly. If someone wants them to.  
  
the principal insisted. No. I suggest the two of you talk to Ms. Lynch, if you insist on harboring this insane conspiracy theory.   
  
You can call these people in and talk to them. They won't lie. You remember who they were, right? Lance Alvers. Pietro Maximoff. Freddy Dukes. Todd Tolensky. They're all mutants. Rogue took a deep breath, counted to three, and said it before she could have second (or third) thoughts. And so are Kitty and I.  
  
If possible, Kelly's face went even paler. His hand inched toward the intercom button.   
  
Rogue hissed. Don't call for her. You're supposed to be the one in charge here, so don't lose your cool. We're not gonna hurt you. We just want to find out how much you remember. Think back. Lance was the one with the glass helmet. I don't know why he wears that. She turned to Kitty, who apparently didn't know either. Anyway, he was the one who did most of the talking, but the huge one, Fred --  
  
-- went to the top of the stadium and ripped the mascot from its stand, where it caught fire, Kelly said in a faraway voice. Everyone was screaming, and I went for help, but before I could get there, it started raining. That didn't make sense, because it'd been a clear night so far. The fires died down, and the rain stopped, like someone had turned off a faucet. He stopped abruptly.  
  
And then what happened? Rogue asked quietly.  
  
That's the part I'm not too clear on. I went back toward the stadium, which was in ruins. Some of the students had run, but some were still there. And there was a group of oddly dressed people. They were standing around a man in a wheelchair. He turned toward me, and... He shook his head. For a while after that, I didn't remember anything at all. It's come back to me slowly.  
  
The man in the wheelchair is Professor Xavier, Rogue explained. I guess you know that by now. He's a mutant, too. And she told the rest of it.  
  
Kelly simply sat there for a moment, stricken. I don't believe it. I refuse to believe it.  
  
You don't have to believe it. But he knows that you still remember, and so do... people we know. They consider you a threat. And worst of all, things like this are going to keep happening. Xavier says he respects ordinary people, but that's a lie. If he respected them, he wouldn't have done what he did. Rogue took a deep breath and continued. Don't you understand? _Things like this are going to keep happening_, unless we can do something about it.  
  
Is there anyone who can verify this? Kelly sounded defeated.  
  
A few minutes later, Lance was stalking through the door. I don't know anything about the pig and I was nowhere near the bathroom at the time. Then he noticed Kitty and Rogue. Hey, what'd you do?  
  
Miss Pryde and Miss...Rogue have just told me a wild story, Kelly informed him, about what really happened the night the stadium was torn down. He relayed the rest of the story. Were you involved with that, Mr. Alvers?  
  
said Lance without hesitation. I don't even know why I'm bothering, though. Baldy will probably come back and erase your mind, just like he did to all the others.  
  
And apparently, you're a...mutant?  
  
Lance said again. I can show you, if you want.  
  
Kitty said quickly. Mr. Kelly, if you want a demonstration, I'll give you one. She stood up and walked through the desk as if it weren't there, then back again. Kelly's eyes, behind his glasses, were now as big as saucers. Lance's and Rogue's powers aren't exactly, um, people friendly.  
  
If you were to drop by the Xavier Institute, Rogue said, you would find a lot more people with powers just like ours. Well, maybe not _just_ like ours. But similar. I don't think it would be a good idea to go near there, though. You don't believe us, do you? she asked, seeing the expression on the principal's face. You think it was just some kind of crazy conspiracy theory, like you said.  
  
For what seemed like an eternity, you could have heard a pin drop in the office. Then Kelly said, I believe you.  
  
  
  
  



	7. Crazy For This Girl

A/N: Three cheers for Kitty/Lance fluff! My sister says that I'm not portraying Lance the way he is in the show, that he's a jerk, that he and Kitty shouldn't be together. Of course, she also doesn't think it makes any sense that I'm anti-Xavier.  
  
Chapter 6: Crazy For This Girl  
  
I can't believe you guys really pulled this off, Lance announced.  
  
They were sitting in the Burger Shed, sipping giant-sized milkshakes and discussing the relative odds of Rogue's plan having actually worked. Even though Kitty knew she had a couple of hours before she had to be back, she couldn't help checking her watch.  
  
Lance noticed. What's up? Worried that I'm going to turn into a frog if you're late?  
  
Wrong fairy tale, Kitty said, giggling. Cinderella was in trouble for being late, and her coach eventually turned into a pumpkin. The frog thing happens when you get kissed. And that's not going to happen to us.  
  
Wow. That's a relief. I don't think our house is big enough for _two_ slimy, hopping creatures.  
  
How are the others taking it? Kitty inquired, when she'd stopped laughing enough to talk and to take another sip of milkshake.  
  
Taking what?  
  
You know, us being together.  
  
Actually, I think this whole issue that I'm involved in now will take their puny little minds off of it. Unless they make the connection that I'm only in it 'cause you are.  
  
Are you? Kitty asked, surprised.  
  
Well, that's one of the reasons, he confessed. But I want to see Xavier go down as much as you and Rogue do.  
  
You do realize that if Kelly ends up telling everyone at school, the X-men will probably connect it to you guys, Kitty warned.  
  
'S okay. What's that they say in the old crime movies? Lance grinned. I'll take the rap for this one!'  
  
If someone ends up reading your mind...   
  
They can't. Remember? He reached over and rapped Kitty's head lightly. Isn't that what got us into this whole mess in the first place? And what if they do? For once, we'll be telling the truth when we say we didn't do it.  
  
Let's not talk about this anymore, she suggested. I'm going to have to talk about it with Rogue when I get back, and I'll have time to worry later.  
  
He slurped his milkshake greedily. So you think we're living in a fairy tale, huh?  
  
Sort of. Or else a romance novel, like my mom writes. You know. Beautiful Katherine --'  
  
Lance repeated.  
  
It's my real name. I hate it. Katherine knew only a sheltered life, bound to a destiny that had already been set out for her, until a forbidden encounter with handsome, mysterious Lance awakened emotions that she never -- she wondered wasn't giggling, and decided that it didn't really matter -- ever thought she was capable of feeling.'  
  
You know you're crazy, right? Lance asked, trying to keep from smiling and failing miserably. Are you planning to turn our story into a romance novel?  
  
No, even though I know I want to be a writer. She was startled at how this had just slipped out. She'd never told anyone that, not even her friends back home, not even Rogue. The ones who didn't laugh at her would probably say it was cute. And Kitty had always detested being called cute, even though she gave everyone around her plenty of reason to do so.  
  
But Lance looked impressed.   
  
She blushed. she said. I heard that keeping a journal was good practice, so that's what I'm doing. I've written some poetry, too. Her ears were burning. This was not good.  
  
That rocks. Excuse the pun.  
  
She put on her innocent face. What pun?  
  
he agreed. At least you know what you want to do with your life. I got no idea. First I have to figure out if there's a life to do anything with. It's not like I'm really good at anything.  
  
she kidded, you're good at levelling buildings.  
  
he said sullenly, but I've done what most mutants have done.  
  
And what's that?  
  
When they get used to their powers -- the ones that do -- they think that's all they'll ever need, and if there was anything special about them before that, they forget all about it. Doesn't look like that's happened to you.  
  
Kitty muttered.  
  
Well, if nothing else, I don't think you're going to stop being special any time soon. Lance reached over and brushed a tendril of hair behind her ear.  
  
She was blushing again, and tried to ignore it. The think about romance novels and fairy tales, she said softly, is that they always seem to end with happily ever after.' And that's why I'm not sure we're really living in that world.  
  
You don't think there's any happily ever after for us?  
  
Sometimes I manage to think that there is, but other times, especially recently, I'm not so sure. She took his hand, which had dropped awkwardly to the table. I'm happy now, though. And that's what matters.


	8. Escape Hatch

Chapter 7: Escape Hatch  
  
Alex listened, spellbound, as Rogue told him the story. So, it's out of your hands now? he asked when she was done.  
  
She shook her head. I wish that was the case. But there's one oh-so-crucial detail that I've been trying to overlook.  
  
  
  
You don't know Principal Kelly. I don't really know him either, but I know enough to have decided that he's a total flake. Someone has to stay here and watch out for everyone.  
  
How did I know that you were going to say that? Alex sounded defeated. So I guess you aren't coming to stay any time soon?  
  
I want to, she told him. Really, I do. But I have too much to do here.  
  
It's not like I'm asking you to stay. Scott and Kitty will be fine for a few days.  
  
If Kelly decides to tell everyone, I have to be there to see it happen.  
  
So tell him not to do anything stupid until you get back, Alex suggested.  
  
I don't know. It's not like I don't want to see you. Someone from near the door cleared her throat. Kitty just walked in. She's back from a big date with Lance.  
  
Oh, shut up! Kitty cried. We just went out for milkshakes, and he didn't even put the straw up his nose!  
  
Will wonders never cease? Alex cracked. How's it going between the two of you?  
  
Kitty bent until she was level with the screen. It's great. He keeps wanting me to tell the others, though. Apparently, he's very big on letting secrets out.  
  
Yeah, Scott told me about that. And guess who thinks it's all her fault?  
  
I couldn't possibly imagine.  
  
Hey, I am still here! Rogue protested.  
  
We know. Just lighten up, okay? Kitty begged. Please. It wasn't your fault. You can't be responsible for everyone.  
  
Could you excuse me for a minute? Rogue asked Alex. She turned to Kitty. This is a private conversation. I can't wait to hear about how it went with Lance, and you can tell me everything later, okay?  
  
He's changed so much, Rogue. You wouldn't believe it if I told you.  
  
Is he still making bad rock puns?  
  
she said.  
  
Then he can't have changed all that much. Listen, I'm happy for you guys, but --  
  
Okay, I'm gone. Kitty paused. I'm happy for us, too. We can finally stop pretending to each other that nothing's going on. She disappeared through the door (which was still locked).  
  
Rogue turned back to face the screen, Kitty's words echoing in her mind. _We can finally stop pretending..._ She found herself recalling the day Alex had asked her to the school dance, how she'd told him that she didn't want to make believe she was normal. And he'd agreed. And then again, after Scott had told them his awful secret, how she and Alex had sat out on the garden bench and he'd told her that it was all right to cry. _No more pretending, right?_  
  
Hey, Rogue? he asked now. You still there?  
  
I'm here, she assured him. And after a long pause,   
  
Yes, what?  
  
Yes, I'll come visit you. We have a long weekend coming up.  
  
It was almost worth everything she'd been through to see his face light up like that. That's awesome!  
  
I'll have to ask the professor... don't look at me like that. I can't just leave. He'll get suspicious.  
  
This'll be so great! Alex enthused. Rogue, I thought I'd wait until you were right there to say this, but I can't. Listen, I --  
  
She cut him off. No matter how ready she thought she was to hear it, she just wasn't. I'll see you soon, sugah.  
  
From outside the door, Can I come in now?  
  
Sure, go ahead.  
  
Kitty phased back into the room, alight with happiness. It was the best! she enthused. It's, like, the first real date we've had since we got back together. When he was living here, we didn't have a whole lot of time to do that. No pressure. No subtle hints about how much it would rock if I lived with them.  
  
That's great. And for once, Rogue really meant it.  
  
So, what's up with you and Alex?  
  
If Xavier okays it, I'm gonna go visit him next weekend.  
  
Now _that_ rocks. Fun in the sun, right?  
  
I guess, Rogue said hesitantly.  
  
Come on, smile for once. I'll be fine.  
  
I guess I've kind of assumed the role of rebel caretaker. It's something I'm actually good at, and I have this crazy feeling that something's gonna happen while I'm not here.  
  
Kitty shook her head. You and Scott.  
  
Rogue looked up, startled. Not me and Scott. Me and Alex.  
  
I meant that you and Scott both take things way too seriously. You think you have to look out for everyone. Kitty looked her straight in the eye. Beg with Xavier if necessary. Trust me.  
  
Do I have to... beg? she asked, wincing. He turns my stomach enough as it is.  
  
Beg to be able to leave, I mean. Seeing Alex again will be so good for you. You've been even mopier than usual.  
  
And I thought that I'd never do somethin' as normal as mooning over a boy, Rogue sighed.  
  
Welcome to the human race, Kitty said grandly. Then, after hesitating, she gave her friend a careful hug.  
  
Startled at first, Rogue hugged her back. There were several things that she'd vowed long ago she'd never do, and getting all close to Kitty Valley Girl Pryde was one of them. Another was acknowledging this almost alien emotion that was sneaking around the edges of her thoughts.  
  
It was almost like happiness.


	9. Breaking Point

A/N: Looky at me, posting 2 chapters in 1 day. I have been surviving on a steady TV diet of Evolution, and my brain is complete mush as a result. Therefore, I'm really not that good at anything but posting fanfic.  
  
Chapter 8: Breaking Point  
  
Everyone here knows how to fight.  
-- Sarah McLachlan  
  
Rogue sat on the balcony railing, under the stars. It was a beautiful night -- bright, cold, exploding with stars. The memory of Kitty's silvery laughter rang in her mind. She hoped that her friend wasn't too distracted by Lance to keep her head in the game.  
  
_I should be happy, too. I'm going to see Alex. I've missed him so much._  
  
So why wasn't she happy?  
  
Maybe she'd made a bad move. Telling the principal the whole truth was risky business -- if Xavier was right about nothing else, he was right in believing that there were some people out there who weren't all that understanding toward things that were different.  
  
That did not, however, give him the right to erase other people's memories. Ever.  
  
It was true, what she had said before -- she had slipped into the role of leader and caretaker. She expected that everyone else believed that she knew what she was doing. But she didn't. How could she know what was best for Kitty, Alex, and Scott when she barely knew what she wanted for herself?  
  
What did she want? Well, she wanted a home, of course. And a loving family. Every time she'd even had a chance at that, it had been taken away from her -- first Irene, then the Brotherhood, and now...   
  
Have this wish I wish tonight, she murmured. She'd never been one to wish on stars -- she'd never wanted anything that they could give her. I want everything to work out this time, she continued. Please let everything work out. For me. For Alex. For Kitty and Lance. For Scott. For everyone. Now she wasn't sure if she was wishing or praying, or even if there was a supreme being that looked out for mutants.  
  
_Well, technically_,_ there is,_ she thought dryly. _A demanding god, who orders for absolute obedience. And his name is Charles Xavier._  
  
You called?  
  
Rogue bit back a scream. _Play it cool_, she advised herself. _He probably doesn't know anything.  
_  
I think you may be wrong about that, my little Rogue. You're on the verge of causing more trouble than is needed.  
  
She was aware that she was scrambling off the railing, not wanting to be distracted into falling.  
  
I should have known, Xavier said a moment later. You are trying to undermine everything that my X-men have worked for, and I will not stand for it.  
  
_What are you going to do about it?_ she asked him, fighting supreme panic. _Are you going to brainwash me, like you did Kitty? Or Scott?_  
  
Scott's rebelliousness is a problem, and most of his decisions are would be destructive if he acted on them. He trusts my judgment absolutely, and allows me to correct him if need arises.  
  
_Liar! You're torturing him, and you know it!_  
  
I am making sure that he does not go against the dream. It is for his own good. And now it's your turn.  
  
No longer was it like fingers gently shuffling through her thoughts, but like steel claws shoving and tearing. Rogue tried to scream, but couldn't. She'd never been a screamer, anyway. She was a fighter, she always had been, and she wasn't about to stop now. She fought back with all her anger and the strength that had gotten her through all this, but she knew it wouldn't be enough. Not nearly enough. Xavier was done being subtle or gentle. He would either take her mind by force... or kill her.  
  
And all Rogue had to do was remember Scott, and she knew which would be the better choice.  
  
Still, she refused to give in; even when the mental agony became unbearable, and the black nothingness crept in around the edges of her mind, she focused instead on thoughts of her friends. _Kitty... Scott... I'm so sorry. I tried, I really did. Alex, this isn't over, I promise._ She carried his face with her into the darkness.  
  
**  
  
She was found less than half an hour later, sprawled on the cold stone floor of the terrace, barely breathing. Ororo stared at her for a moment, unable to comprehend what she was seeing. Then she opened the door again and shouted for help. 


	10. Crash and Burn

Chapter 9: Crash and Burn  
  
You X-men are nothing but puppets for Charles Xavier!  
-- Mystique  
  
It had only been a few hours since Ororo had carried Rogue's motionless body into the med lab, but to Scott, it felt like an eternity. Her breathing was slow, her pale skin paler. He was glad her eyes were closed. He didn't think he could bear to see her staring at nothing.  
  
What had happened? What was wrong with her? Nothing like this had ever happened before -- in fact, when most other people were in these situations, she was the one to have caused it.  
  
_(come on Scott you know perfectly well what's wrong with her)_  
  
Hank couldn't find anything wrong with her physically. The professor had tried to read her thoughts, and gotten no response. She didn't respond to anyone near her. It was as if the girl lying on the bed was a shell, and Rogue herself was gone.  
  
Logan, the only person to whom Kitty would listen, had just ordered her off to bed against the girl's pleas. We'll wake you up if anything changes, half-pint, he'd assured her. Kurt had loitered a little while longer, then reluctantly retired to his own room.  
  
Xavier had explained things to the other residents, assuring them that she was in stable condition and they were doing the best they could to find out what was wrong with her.  
  
_(and he knows too, does he ever)_  
  
They had all nodded somberly, believing him absolutely.  
  
_(boy does he have them all on a string)_  
  
Even the ones who hadn't known her well (did anyone really know Rogue well?) were concerned. They had murmured I hope-she's-okays before disappearing from view.  
  
Scott had contacted Alex almost as soon as it had happened, and he was on his way. Maybe having him here will help her. _Yeah, right. Reality check, Scott. This isn't some dumb romance novel, this is real life, and one of your teammates is hurt and nobody seems to know how to help her._  
  
  
  
Xavier had just wheeled himself into the room.  
  
What is it?  
  
I strongly suggest that you get some sleep.  
  
Alex is coming soon, and I want to be up when he gets here. And I can't just... Scott gestured at the bed. I can't just leave her.  
  
You have school tomorrow, Xavier pointed out.  
  
I'm not going.  
  
You have to. It won't change anything whether you're here or not, any more than it was your fault that she ended up like this.  
  
Nothing gets by you, does it? Scott asked, managing to smile and wondering why he even let himself.  
  
You do believe that you were somehow responsible, don't you? Xavier prodded.  
  
It's just something that I can't shake, Professor. I know that it didn't have anything to do with me, but it doesn't stop me from feeling that there's something I could have done.  
  
She is one of the X-men, Scott. Of course you feel responsible for her, and there's nothing wrong with that. But you can't blame yourself. The others look to you for support and strength.  
  
I know, but sometimes I can't give them those things. Scott glanced at Rogue again. Especially now.  
  
I'm sure you'll be able to. You have more strength than you care to admit.  
  
Scott nodded. he said. I'm sitting up with her for a little while longer, but I'll try to make it to school tomorrow.  
  
Xavier nodded and quietly wheeled himself away.  
  
  
  
  



	11. Fugitive

Chapter 10: Fugitive  
  
I'm harboring a fugitive, a defector of a kind  
And she lives in my soul, drinks of my wine  
And I'd give my last breath to keep us alive.  
-- Indigo Girls  
  
When Mr. Barton called on Kitty in geometry, she hadn't been aware of the question, let alone the answer. She apologized, and he went on explaining how the vertical thingummer postulate could be used to explain that this triangle was equal to that one. He spared her the pay-attention-Miss-Pryde lecture, and she was glad.  
  
She knew that Rogue hadn't keeled over by accident. But what was she going to do, accuse Xavier point-blank of silencing her somehow? Kitty already knew what that would lead to.  
  
She passed through the morning in a fog, not noticing when Kurt asked her if she was okay or Danielle and Sam made snide comments. When lunch rolled around, she didn't go near the cafeteria. There was no way she could even think about eating.  
  
A hand fell on her shoulder, and a low voice whispered, Is this against the rules?  
  
Kitty jumped and whirled around. Lance's smile quickly faded when he saw her face. Are you okay? he asked.  
  
she said, and explained. Come with me to the office. I need to call and see how she's doing.  
  
There, Lance endured the third degree from the secretary, assuring her several times that he really and honestly hadn't done anything, while Kitty made her call. Xavier Institute, how may I help you? the voice at the other end asked politely.  
  
Ororo, it's me, Kitty.  
  
Kitty, what's wrong?  
  
I need to know how Rogue's doing.  
  
No change, Ororo said sadly. Alex hasn't left her. The professor's trying everything he can.  
  
_That's what I'm afraid of,_ Kitty thought. Please call if anything happens before we get home, okay?  
  
Of course.  
  
She hung up, and she and Lance walked back into the hall. Nobody knows what happened, she told him. But I have my suspicions. She shook her head. I don't know if I can last the rest of the day.  
  
I don't think so, either.  
  
I need to get out of here, she whispered.  
  
Lance hesitated before saying, No problem. Let's go.  
  
  
  
If either of us go back to class, we'll go crazy.  
  
I wasn't serious! she protested. I'll be in so much trouble.  
  
If he finds out.  
  
Finding things out is part of Xavier's job description.  
  
He thinks you're here, Lance reasoned. The other X-Geeks will think you've gone home.  
  
Lance, this is insane.  
  
You noticed?  
  
**  
  
They were well away from the school before Kitty stopped looking over her shoulder. She had never cut school before, although her friends back in Chicago used to brag about it all the time. It didn't surprise her one bit that Lance was used to it, though.  
  
_Absences can be waived due to extradordinary circumstances_, she recited mentally all the way to McLean Pond, where Lance parked the car and asked her again if she was okay. _If this isn't extraordinary, I'd like to know what is._  
  
he asked again.  
  
She willed herself not to cry. I know it's stupid, blaming everything that goes wrong on Xavier, she began.  
  
Works for me.  
  
She ignored that. But I can't help thinking that he's behind this somehow.  
  
You think he did this to Rogue?  
  
Think about it. We tell Kelly everything, and that same day, Rogue's out of commision. If he wanted to keep her quiet, you know he could do that.  
  
Maybe he wants her out of the picture for good, Lance suggested.  
  
Nah. X-men don't kill.' I've heard that crap so often... She trailed off. But he'd also never, _ever_ brainwash his charges. Or make false accusations without hearing the other side of the story. Or turn people away without giving them another chance. It's like the others are totally blind. Can't they see him for what he is? She pounded the dashboard in frustration.  
  
Blind or asleep, said Lance. You know what I think you should do in that case?   
  
I haven't the foggiest.  
  
Wake them up.  
  
_Do not cry,_ she told herself. _Do not. You're in charge now, and you have to find out a way to help everyone. It's up to you. You can't lose it. And besides, you don't want Lance to think you're some kind of wuss._  
  
Before these instructions were fully comleted, the tears were pouring down her face. All the pain and risk and sadness of the last few months -- from the day Lance was first brought to the Institute to just last night, when Xavier's dire news had echoed inside her head, came pouring out until she didn't even care how pathetic she looked.  
  
Lance, apparently, disagreed. He made no remark, just held her close as she sobbed herself dry, and recalled how fear and desperation had driven her into his arms shortly after they'd first met... and how he had gone on to make the biggest mistake of his life.  
  
He held her tighter, remembering this.  
  
Finally, Kitty drew back and sniffled. I'm getting your shirt all wet.  
  
I got others. Listen, Kitty. Nobody's asking you to take on full responsibility for this. Nothing that happened is your fault.  
  
She nodded. I know. It's Xavier's fault.  
  
Now you're talking.   
  
They got out and sat by the pond together, talking for the rest of the afternoon. He couldn't believe he'd actually gotten her to skip class, but she had needed it. The last time she had been this upset, it had actually been Lance's own fault. First she had fallen for him, and it had ended in disaster. Then he had fallen for her, and the same thing had happened.  
  
And now he finally had her -- no, that wasn't quite right. They had each other.  
  
And things were more confusing than ever.  
  
**  
  
He dropped her off at the end of the long driveway heading up to the Institute. Maybe someday I can walk you to your door like a normal date, Lance remarked.  
  
Neither of us are ever going to be normal, she replied. We are outsiders. There _is_ something wrong with us. Someone once told me that -- the last person I ever expected to fall for.  
  
I never expected it either. But that's 'cause I never imagined I could be that lucky.  
  
She smiled. I love you, Lance. You know that, right?  
  
Never doubted it for a second.  
  
  
  
They kissed, and she opened the car door and made her way up toward the mansion.   
  
Xavier was waiting for her when she got inside. 


	12. When The Going Gets Tough

Chapter 11: When The Going Gets Tough  
  
Come take me over; I want to be whole.  
-- October Project  
  
Kitty walked into chemistry two days later with her eyes downcast. Before she was hustled into her assigned seat, she had time to whisper to Lance, I'm totally busted. Open it when you're alone, okay?  
  
After school (not to mention Pietro's fifth inquiry as to the content of the loooove note from Kitty-Cat), he did indeed open it alone, in his room, sprawled on the bed that smelled of mothballs and sour milk.  
  
Dear Lance,  
  
If I find out that you didn't read this when you were alone as instructed, and instead are laughing about it with your colleagues, I will hunt you down and beat you over the head. Just because I'm going against Xavier doesn't mean I've forgotten all my training.  
  
I guess that ditching school without being caught was too much to hope for. I don't know if the school called, or he found out... the other way. And I should be grateful, to say the least, that if it's the latter, he didn't dig deep enough to find out that I was with you. If he had, I probably wouldn't be writing this.   
  
What he did do was ground me until further notice and give me this whole speech on how he knows I'm worried about Rogue, but this just isn't like me. Tuning him out is something that I've become very good at.  
  
Don't worry, though; I don't regret it. I wouldn't have been much use in class anyway, and -- in case you haven't, like, figured it out by now -- every second we're not together, it reminds me all the more of how much I want to be with you. That's from one of my mom's books, but it holds true.  
  
Alex is spending almost all his time watching over Rogue in the med lab, and I hang out there with him. He's as positive as I am that Xavier had something to do with this, but we can't prove it, of course. I wonder if maybe Jean can help us.  
  
Don't worry, we'll think of something. The sooner we do, the sooner this will all be over and we can talk and kiss and spend time together without worrying about who's watching.  
  
Love always,  
Kitty  
  
**  
  
The day after that, she found a scrap of paper tucked into the pocket of her backpack.  
  
Dear Kitty,  
  
Grounded, huh? That blows goats. I don't see why you're playing by Baldy's rules, anyway. He's the one who's brainwashing everyone, right? You've been living dangerously for a while now. Why not continue?  
  
Okay, I get it. You're afraid of getting caught again, and I can understand. I don't want to get you in trouble.  
  
I've had to get pretty good at surviving without you, so I know I can do it. But not for long. I'm counting the days 'til you're free.  
  
Rock on,  
Lance  
  
**  
  
Alex leaned over the bed. Hey. How's my favorite X-babe?  
  
There was no answer, of course.  
  
I want you to be okay, Rogue, he continued. Besides finding Scott again, you're one of the best things that ever happened to me. He needs you. So does Kitty. So do I. He tentatively touched the white streak at the front of her hair, smoothing it back. Scott seems to think it would be better if I stayed away. I guess that if you were awake, you'd think so too. But I can't let that happen. He paused. Rogue, it _was_ him, wasn't it? Xavier, I mean. He heard the med lab door sliding open and stopped abruptly.  
  
How long are you staying? Scott asked.  
  
Alex shrugged. You asked me to come back for a visit, he said bitterly.  
  
You didn't have to come all the way out here.  
  
I needed to see you guys. Scott was obviously waiting for more. I can't think about joining the team now, man. Not with her like this, and you --  
  
Scott frowned. And me what?  
  
Alex knew that Rogue wouldn't want him saying anything at this point. He changed the subject. Is Kitty still moping?  
  
Not so much anymore. I can't believe that she'd ever cut a class. It's just not like her. You know what I think?  
  
Alex asked.  
  
I don't think she was alone, Scott replied. I think she ditched to be with some guy.  
  
I wouldn't rule it out. I mean, Kitty may have that whole valley-girl thing going, but she's really pretty. She could have her pick of the guys. Hey, maybe she's even with Lance.  
  
Scott shook his head profusely. It looked almost like someone was yanking his head from side to side. No way, he said firmly. You're right -- it would be just like him to convince her to do that. But she hates him now, like she should.  
  
Like she should? Alex repeated.  
  
Kitty is one of the X-men. Her first duty is to the team, not some deliquent who works for the other side.  
  
Alex almost lost it right then and there. _Who am I hearing?_ he wanted to scream. _You or Xavier? Never mind, I know the answer. I know you're in there, and I know that you think you can't fight him. But you can. I've seen you in action.  
_  
I gotta go, Scott was saying. I have some studying to do. Before he reached the door, his gait wavered and he stumbled.  
  
Alex was there in an instant. His brother's face had twisted, and his lips had thinned into a white line. Won't last, he muttered. But it's worth it. Just for a little while... please...  
  
Scott, you have to fight!  
  
Just... leave, Scott managed. There's nothing you can do to help me. She's the one to worry about.  
  
Leave? What do you think I am, crazy?  
  
Yes! That's exactly what I think. If you do anything, you'll be next. And you don't want that, Alex. You can't possibly imagine what it's like. Scott paused and grimaced. I'm not going to let anything happen to you.   
  
Don't you think it goes both ways? I left before, and look what happened. Alex stood up, not removing his hand from Scott's shoulder. You have to tell Jean. She can help you.  
  
She doesn't stand a chance against him, Scott protested.  
  
Maybe not, but she still deserves to know. And if you can't tell her, Kitty or I will. I don't have to worry about Xavier forcing me to stay anymore. Because I'm staying anyway -- for as long as it takes to help you.  
  
A/N: READ THIS! My friend thinks I should kill Xavier off in the end. Agree? Disagree? Answer in your reviews! 


	13. Still Waters

A/N: The bit in italics is a flashback, set right after the infamous soccer game incident. Yes, I'll stop harping on that sometime this century.  
  
Chapter 12: Still Waters  
  
The truth now clothed in dark of night  
Will naked stand in morning's light.  
-- Julie Miller  
  
She wouldn't be able to do it. Kitty had no problem with the truth -- it had, after all, literally set her free -- but when it came to telling people difficult truths that might hurt them, she couldn't get the words out. She'd always left that up to Rogue, who had pulled the wool from the eyes of Alex... and Principal Kelly... and Kitty herself.  
  
_She was still up, listening to the radio and reading the chapter of _The Scarlet Letter _that they would be quizzed on tomorrow, trying with all her might not to think about what had just happened. How could Lance have been such an idiot? He'd almost gotten all of them killed, and endangered the lives of mutants everywhere. All because he thought that it might be fun to tell everyone the truth for a change. Whoever said that the truth hurt had been right.  
  
Rogue huffed into the room and threw herself onto the other bed.  
  
Are you okay? Kitty asked. If Rogue was in one of her moods, it wouldn't be a good idea to cross her.  
  
Am I okay? Am I okay? Kitty, are we going to talk about what just happened?  
  
Look, just because Lance has a thing for me doesn't mean I have, like, any idea why he did that.  
  
I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about what happened afterward.  
  
Kitty was terminally confused.  
  
I don't care that it was the only way to save us, Rogue said tightly. I don't care that he almost busted his brains out. In fact, it was fair punishment for thinking that he's God and can just barge into other people's heads and decide what they deserve to remember.  
  
Oh, that's what this is about. Rogue, the professor knows what's best.  
  
said Rogue. Her eyes were bright with anger. That's exactly right, Kitty. The professor always knows best. If he says it's okay to brainwash a crowd of innocent people, then it must be. If he thinks it will benefit the dream if you think Lance is out to hurt you, then that must be okay, too!  
  
Kitty sat bolt upright. What did you say?  
  
Lance didn't try to kill you. Xavier planted the idea in your head. That's what I said.  
  
I don't believe you, she whispered. I don't believe you!  
  
I wouldn't lie about something like this. Lance loved you.  
  
He was trying to get me to join him, Kitty insisted. That's all.  
  
He still loves you.   
  
  
  
That's why he's been following you around. He's hated the world for so long that he's not sure how to show it when he actually cares about someone. But he does, and he did before, too. Don't you dare ignore me, Rogue warned. Just try to remember what it was like when he first came here, how much he wanted to fix things. When he told you the truth, it was because he thought you deserved to know. And that's why I'm doing it, too.  
  
The professor would never...  
  
Yes...he...would. You have to understand that, sugah. And you have to stop letting him control your life._  
  
Now, Kitty was curled up on her bed again, reliving every second of that night as if it were yesterday. She'd tried to run out the door, phasing through Rogue's hands when they closed around her wrists. Tried to run from the memories that had hit her like a sledghammer. Tried to run from the truth.  
  
came Jean's voice. Alex said there was something you needed to talk to me about.  
  
Yeah, there is. _I hope I can do this right.  
_  
I talked to the professor, and he says you'll be off restriction this weekend. Okay?  
  
Speaking of Xavier...  
  
Jean asked curiously, sitting down on the other bed.  
  
This isn't easy to say, Kitty went on. I'm not as good at... telling things as Rogue is. But she... can't do this, because of what happened to her. She didn't want to take time to think about it, so she plunged on. Because of what Xavier did to her.  
  
Jean frowned. Kitty, I don't understand. Why would he do this to Rogue? Or to any of us?  
  
I don't know why. I don't even know that it's true. I'm guessing that he was trying to do something to her mind, and she wouldn't let him.  
  
It's impossible. Kitty, I know you're upset about what happened, and I know that she was your friend, but I don't think --   
  
Kitty was getting a horrible sense of deja vu. she snapped, is obvious. _I sound like Rogue_, she realized. _Or Sara._  
  
It seemed to be the only word Jean knew.  
  
None of you think, Kitty clarified. You just sit back and let him make all your decisions for you.  
  
Shut up! You don't know anything. The professor knows what's right for all of us. Now tears were forming at the corners of her eyes. All of us, she repeated.  
  
Jean, please listen to me! If you don't, we're, like, all in trouble -- me, Rogue, Alex, but especially Scott.  
  
Why would this have anything to do with him? Jean asked sharply.  
  
Because if what Rogue told me is right, then Xavier has been controlling Scott's mind for ages.  
  
If there had been tears in Jean's eyes, they had vanished. I don't know what you're talking about, she said. I'm not going to try to read your mind, but I need to know why you're saying these things.  
  
I'm saying them because they're the truth, Kitty said, her voice steady. She'd thought that spilling everything would be hard, but it was nothing compared to how difficult it would be to get someone else to believe it, when she still barely believed it herself. But before she could open her mouth again, Jean had left the room in a flurry.


	14. No Easy Way Out

Chapter 13: No Easy Way Out  
  
Professor, Kitty's just told me some strange things, Jean began nervously. Her hands were shaking, her mouth dry. She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt like this around him. Something about the look in his eyes... they seemed darker than usual, sharp, aware. As if he already knew why she'd brought this up. Which, of course, he probably did.  
  
Xavier repeated. How so?  
  
She says that you did something to Rogue's mind, and that's why she's like this. I know it's ridiculous, but...  
  
  
  
But Kitty's not the type to make up wild stories. She also said... The words came tumbling out in a rush. That you brainwashed Scott. And that really doesn't make sense.  
  
Kitty is distraught over Rogue's condition, as you've probably guessed by her behavior two days ago, Xavier explained, his smooth tone barely disguising something that Jean might, if she didn't know better, mistake for fear. She might even feel responsible, and is looking for someone to blame besides herself.  
  
Why would Kitty feel responsible for what happened?  
  
I have no idea. You don't happen to believe her, do you?  
  
I... don't know, Jean confessed. The idea that Xavier would ever try to hurt Rogue or Scott... it was rather hard to believe. In fac, it was impossible. And Jean had witnessed her share of things that she would have usually thought impossible.  
  
On the other hand...  
  
_That story about Sara messing with Kitty and Scott -- it did sound a little fishy. She wouldn't have any reason to want to control either of them. I didn't even ask her. I didn't even try to reason it out. I just believed it...  
  
...all because the professor said so. He may be like family to me, but Sara actually is. She may be difficult, she may be stubborn -- but she's still my sister, and I believed such a horrible thing about her without question. Just because he said it was true. My God, what have I done? What has he done to me?_  
  
Fortunately, her new realization had gone unnoticed. Rest assured, Jean, that I would never so much as desire to harm any of you, Xavier was saying now. You know that.  
  
Her reply seemed to stick in her throat. She suddenly found it very hard to string the words together, or put her thoughts into words.  
  
Kitty has been through a great deal, what with Lance's manipulation, and later your sister's. I hadn't realized, however, that she was this disturbed. I think I would like to have a talk with her, and -- he smiled, and Jean suppressed the urge to shudder -- ease her mind as far as her fears are concerned.  
  
Jean's confusion melted into concern. Had she been thinking about something? Something important? Well, if it was, it couldn't be nearly as important as what was going on now. She hadn't guessed that Kitty had been suffering either, but the poor girl had hidden it so well up until tonight. The situation with Rogue had clearly pushed her over the edge. Kitty, she called out mentally. Come to the professor's office for a minute. He's heard about the things you've told me, and he wants to talk to you.  
  
**  
  
Had she moved, just then? Had her eyelids fluttered? Had she given some sign that she knew he was there? Alex thought it was his imagination, but he hoped that it wasn't. He had tried speaking to her, talking about surfing, about his life back home, about Kitty and Lance, about anything. Just to fill the silence.  
  
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Kitty phase through the door, looking panicked. She crossed the room in three strides. Alex, we have a problem.  
  
So what else is new?  
  
Jean blabbed everything to Xavier. He knows that I know, and that his brainwashing didn't do anything. That means I'm in danger, and so's she.  
  
You mean you're leaving?  
  
I didn't say that. We have a better chance if we're together, the three of us. A strange look had entered Kitty's eyes, and she smiled mysteriously. Or the seven of us.  
  
Alex repeated blankly, but Kitty barely heard him. _There's no time to think about this. No time to wonder if they'll find us there. Oh, God, I'm not going to be able to do this._  
  
A new voice spoke up inside her. For a moment, she recoiled, thinking that it might belong to Xavier or Jean, who were doubtlessly wondering where she was. But it was unfamiliar, and seemed to come from her own mind rather than another. _Yes, you are. You have to be sure of yourself, as sure as you are that... well, that you and Lance belong together. Stop pretending that it's not your problem, Katherine. Stop trying to place responsibility on someone else. She may have saved your life when she told you the truth. And now she needs you._  
  



	15. Strength Over Fear

Chapter 14: Strength Over Fear  
  
Kitty, what took you so long? Jean asked.  
  
I was talking to Alex in the med lab.  
  
The circumstances have had a depressing effect on him, Xavier commented. And, from what Jean tells me, he is not the only one. Kitty, Jean has told me that you have been saying some rather... interesting things about my recent actions. Jean was looking at him with an expression of mixed self-righteousness and adoration that made Kitty want to rip her hair out.  
  
Kitty retorted. Last I checked, there was such a thing as freedom of speech.  
  
It hurts me, my child, that you think I would use my power against any of you.  
  
It hurts me that you think I'm stupid enough to believe that anymore.  
  
Why are you saying these things, Kitty? Xavier went on. Is it just because you're distraught about Rogue? Or -- his eyes brightened as if he'd had an amazing revelation -- perhaps it's lingering guilt from Lance's manipulation.  
  
This was the part where she was supposed to keep pretending. Another lie, to add to the layers of lies and secrets they'd been harboring throughout this whole scheme. Rogue had said that she wasn't afraid of him. Well, if she wasn't, why did she insist that they sneak around and avoid him whenever possible? Kitty was sick of it. Sick of lying, and sick of keeping everything under wraps as if -- and here she recalled something Scott had said during one of his moments of freedom -- as if they were hiding in shame. I've never felt guilty about that, she said softly.  
  
  
  
I've never felt guilty, Kitty repeated. And I'm not ashamed that I'm with Lance.  
  
You mean that you _were_ with him,' Xavier corrected her.  
  
No, that I am, she said, feeling that new confidence rise within her with every word. I'm surprised at you, Professor -- you claim to be the most powerful telepath in ten kingdoms, but you don't even realize that Lance and I have been seeing each other, that I love him more than anything, and that I'm telling you this because I'm tired of keeping it a secret, not because I think that who I decide to be with is anybody's business but mine.  
  
It would be a very safe bet that this was the first time, at least since his powers had surfaced, that Xavier looked shocked. And Kitty looked like she had been enjoying every minute of it.  
  
At last he spoke again. Kitty, why did you feel a need to keep this from us?  
  
You know why, she answered. Whatever he did in the past has been forgotten. Well, maybe not forgotten, she amended hastily. But forgiven. And if you think you have any right to decide what's best for either him or me, you'd better think again. With that parting shot, she was gone.  
  
Xavier sighed. I don't know what's come over her. I thought that I could discourage her from risking everything, but apparently, her misguided feelings for him are stronger than anything I could have done.  
  
Then we need to keep trying, Jean told him.  
  
You aren't judging me for making sure she wouldn't seek him out again?  
  
You mean after she ran away the first time? Jean shook her head. Not at all. You did what was best. _Something is wrong! I shouldn't be saying these things!_ I have complete faith in you, Professor.


	16. A Fighting Chance

Chapter 15: A Fighting Chance  
  
When Kitty finally slept that night, it was a fitful slumber, plagued with nightmares of waking the next day without any memory of her time with Lance. When she'd experienced these dreams in the past, Rogue had usually been there to shake her out of them.  
  
But the other bed was empty, and Rogue herself was in an unnatural sleep from which it was uncertain that she would ever emerge. Xavier was slowly but surely tightening his grip, and despite what Kitty had told him, she had never been so scared in her life.  
  
After the second time she had opened her eyes to the darkness, shaking uncontrollably, her heart beating double time, she tossed back the covers and retrieved a flashlight and her laptop from the dressed. A minute later she was typing frantically.  
  
_I finally told Xavier and Jean what's going on with me and Lance, and I don't regret it, but I hate thinking about what's going to happen next. If he decided it was okay to brainwash me before, will he do it again? The others don't know, so they wouldn't notice the change. And this time, he'd make sure that I didn't realize the truth.  
  
I wish there was some way I could make the others see the truth. It's in my hands now, and in some ways that's even scarier. I'm not supposed to be the leader. It isn't supposed to be like this.  
  
Looking back, I realize that I've said that a lot. It's no secret that in under this roof, things are always the way they're supposed to be. I've always liked things to turn out as planned -- I guess that's what comes from having a romance-novel author for a mother. The plots are so formulaic -- girl meets guy, girl resists guy, guy wins girl over, they endure hardships and end up living happily ever after. I wanted my relationship with Lance to be like that. Hell, I wanted my life to be like that.  
  
Maybe that's part of the reason that I was so willing to join up. The X-men all seem to be so sure of themselves: sure that Xavier is right (well, now I know why that is), sure that the world is theirs to save, and that every battle is theirs to win. Because they've made up their mind about how things are supposed to be.  
  
That's how this is going to end, I suppose: with a battle. Good versus evil. And, of course, the good side is supposed to win again. And the X-Geeks -- I mean X-men -- are so damn sure of it that nothing could shake them out of it._   
  
Kitty's hands dropped from the keyboard. Her eyes had gone very wide as the beginning of an idea crept into her head. It would be immensely risky -- after all, just because they hadn't lost anyone in battle before didn't mean that they'd be lucky forever. And there was no guarantee that the others would listen.  
  
But if she'd learned one thing from all this, it was this: just because something couldn't be guaranteed didn't mean that it wasn't worth fighting for.  
  
It was hard to fall back asleep, but this time, it was for a different reason.  
  
**  
  
  
  
She raised her head from her arms.   
  
Wake up before Mr. McCoy catches you, Lance whispered, grinning.  
  
  
  
You okay? he asked.  
  
Yes and no. I'm off punishment today, starting this afternoon, and I got this idea last night -- She realized that she was talking very fast.  
  
Rock on. Want to come back with me after school?  
  
She didn't even hesitate.   
  
Lance blinked. What, you're not worried about your little friends catching you?  
  
I don't much care anymore.  
  
Mr. Alvers, Miss Pryde, pay attention! Mr. McCoy called.  
  
**  
  
You want to do what? Fred exclaimed.  
  
Think about it, said Kitty. It's the only way to get all of them together, psyched up to fight for the dream. I was with them, remember? I know how it works.  
  
Picking fights with the X-Geeks _is_ something we're pretty good at, Lance pointed out. And in the middle of it, we can get up in front of everyone and tell them what Xavier's been up to.  
  
People get hurt in battles, Toad said worriedly. And I guess you've made like everyone else and forgotten the last time we decided to get up in front of a big crowd and tell them what was going down.  
  
That won't happen this time, Lance insisted.  
  
What do you mean, it won't happen this time? If there was ever something Baldy didn't want people to think, this was it.  
  
It won't happen this time 'cause we didn't know what we were doing. Now we do.  
  
Pietro muttered. Picture this: We attack Casa Xavier, they fight, we get our asses whipped. Or you yell through your loudspeaker that they're all brainwashed, and they think it's some kind of conspiracy, and we get our asses whipped. Or he knows we're coming, and puts it into our heads to stay away, but we still get --  
  
Pietro, shut up, said Lance.  
  
You know what, Toddy? I think we were right. I think Kitty-Cat over there fizzled Lance's brains.  
  
Yup. I told you so.  
  
I think so, too, Fred chimed in.  
  
Look, if we do this, it could be the end of the X-men! Lance said suddenly, as if that had just occurred to him. What do you guys think of that?  
  
Three pairs of eyes slowly turned to him. Pietro said.  
  
How are we gonna manage that? Fred asked, scratching his mohawk.  
  
Think about it, Blob, Lance said patiently. We spill the dirt on Xavier, and all of his little robots wake up and see him for what he really is. They're not going to want to fight for him anymore. Hence, no more X-men.  
  
  
  
I know it's a long shot, said Kitty. But Xavier's hurt my best friend, and he can't be allowed to go on like this. I can do this alone, but it would be a lot better if you guys were there.  
  
I'm in, Lance said immediately.  
  
I guess I am, Toad said reluctantly. As long as nobody grabs my tongue again. That hurts, yo.   
  
Pietro snickered.   
  
  
  
I'm in.  
  
And I'm in, said a new voice. All eyes turned to the door to the kitchen just in time to see a newcomer walk through it. Her red hair flowed very dramatically over the shoulders of her tight black sweater, and her face, so similar to that of a certain psychic X-man, bore a smile that was attempting very hard not to become a wild laugh. You guys should see the looks on your faces. Damn, I love making an entrance.  
  
A/N: Hey, guys, I promised that she'd be back! Now, for the love of Lance, review!!!!  
  



	17. The Dividing Line

A/N: Joey, good question. I haven't actually seen Tabby since the episode where she was introduced, and I'm assuming that she stayed with the Brotherhood for a little while and then went off on her own. I liked your idea (I'm something of a Kurt/Tabitha shipper myself) but I don't know how well it would work this late in the story. I might mention her in the epilogue, where I tell what happens to everybody.  
  
Chapter 16: The Dividing Line  
  
How'd you get in here? Pietro demanded.  
  
Through the door, same like you. Sara paused. I hope. So what's this I hear about you attacking the Institute?  
  
Kitty thinks that if we go up against the X-Geeks, we can somehow get them to stop listening to Xavier, Lance explained.  
  
Sara swung her eyes over to Kitty. I thought you were still on his side.  
  
I was. Quickly, Kitty filled her in.  
  
Wow. Good luck getting everyone to listen. Like I said, though, I'm in.  
  
No offense, but how's your power going to help us? Kitty wanted to know.  
  
Sara thought about this. It isn't, she admitted.  
  
  
  
Moral support. She grinned at Pietro. Of course, if you don't _want_ me along...  
  
  
  
Then let's do it! Sara exclaimed.  
  
Hold on! Lance held up his hands. We need a plan, you guys. If we just rush into this, people are gonna get hurt. He began to pace. Kitty giggled.   
  
You know who you sound like? She was now laughing so hard that she could barely get the words out.  
  
  
  
Kitty gasped, and lost control completely, collapsing on the couch.  
  
__  
  
She's right, Lancey-Boy, Pietro remarked. You sound exactly like Summers when he's organizing the troops.  
  
If you even think about comparing me to him again... Lance threatened.  
  
...then you'll bring the house down. I know.  
  
Exactly. How are we going to do this? Kitty? Any ideas?  
  
I wouldn't be suggesting this if I didn't have ideas, she said proudly. She had never planned something before, and really hoped this would work.  
  
Why not? Fred asked. It always worked for us.  
  
And we always lose, Lance reminded him.  
  
I knew that.  
  
Before Kitty tells us her master plan, Lance went on, we gotta decide when we're doing this.  
  
Sara said immediately. As soon as it gets dark. Anybody have a problem with that?  
  
Not me, yo, said Todd. I was planning to watch _Dark Angel_, but let's topple the X-Geek empire instead. Why not?  
  
**  
  
Kitty took one look at Lance and started giggling again.  
  
What's so funny? he demanded, his voice slightly distorted by the glass bubble covering his head.  
  
That... outfit, she managed. You look like some sort of space cowboy gone wrong!  
  
Kitty, you've seen me like this a thousand times, he said, utterly confused.  
  
Yeah, but those other times, I was too busy trying to kick your ass. The laughter faded. You know, I always held out hope that someday we'd be fighting on the same side. Looks like I got my wish -- it just didn't come true the way I thought it would.  
  
Wishes never do. Of course, most of us are lucky to have them come true at all. Lance paused. Are you nervous?  
  
  
  
  
  
she said immediately. After tonight, one way or another, everything's going to change. You know that.  
  
Of course I do. But I'm not all that happy with the way things were going anyway. It ain't easy living like this, no matter how it seems. I'm kinda ready for a change. Long pause. But I'm scared, too.  
  
Her eyes widened. You? You're not scared of anything.  
  
He grinned. Fooled you, didn't I?  
  
I'll say. I'm not sure I'm ready for everything to change, she said softly. And I guess what I'm really scared of is what Xavier will do to us if we try to turn the others against him and fail. He can't get into your mind, so you're okay, but Sara and I --  
  
You and Sara will be fine, Lance said firmly. I don't know if you've ever noticed this, Kitty - I don't know if they've ever let you notice it -- but you're a lot stronger than you think you are.  
  
No, I'm not.  
  
Trust me. Would I lie to you? She opened her mouth, and he hastily added, Don't answer that.  
  
That's what I thought. There's one more problem with that stupid helmet you're wearing, by the way. She smiled. It makes it very hard for me to kiss you.  
  
I owe you one, okay?  
  
Fair enough.  
  
Hey, lovebirds! came Sara's voice from outside. We're moving out! What's taking you so long?  
  
They moved outside and joined the others in the jeep. Are we ready? Sara asked them.  
  
said Lance. Let's do it.  
  
Don't you mean Let's rock'? Kitty teased him.  
  
Yup. That, too.  
  
Sara gave him a stern look that was uncannily reminiscent of Mystique. Now, say it like you mean it.  
  
Lance raised one fist. Let's rock!  
  
That's more like it.  
  
**  
  
At first, Scott thought that he was hallucinating the way the floor of his room was shaking. It was obviously the result of too much studying, or too little sleep, or worrying about Rogue. Or maybe all three at once.  
  
That was before the door to his room banged open. Scott, you'd better come look at this!  
  
Scott followed him to the nearest front-facing window. The source of the quake was standing in full regalia down on the grass, and he wasn't alone. As always, he was accompanied by the Blob, Toad, and Quicksilver... but it was the other two figures that made Scott wonder if his vision was really that screwed up. He realized he was gaping. Is that _Sara_?  
  
Alex nodded solomnly.   
  
Scott blinked. It was Sara, all right. And standing next to her...  
  
Scott said incredulously, his throat dry. I don't understand...   
  
_(yes you do, Scott, you understand perfectly)  
_  
He shook his head to clear it. We have to go talk to the professor. Now. He turned to Alex. Are you with us?  
  
Scott, I don't know about this...  
  
I understand that you're uneasy about joining the team this quickly, but we need you. Inexplicably, Alex felt like screaming. The person he was talking to might have looked like Scott, might have been wearing Scott's clothes and speaking in his voice, but the words he was using, and the almost fanatical determination, belonged to someone completely different... and all too familiar.  
  
Yet if his eyes had been visible, they would have told a different story. They would have been lonely, frightened, helpless, the eyes of a once-courageous and idealistic boy who truly believed (or had at one point) that mutants had a future in an unforgiving world, and, when that world had turned against him, had jumped at his one chance at acceptance without any knowledge of the nightmare that it would become.  
  
Scott was still in there. Alex was sure of it. And something told him that this would be his last chance. He swallowed hard. Yeah, I'm in.


	18. Swaying the Masses

A/N: Near the end of Shaky Ground, I warned you guys of something: I am not good at fight scenes. I am not good at them at all. They make it look so easy on the show!   
  
Chapter 17: Swaying the Masses  
  
Cyclops had told them to spread out, to not give their enemies a way inside, and that was what his teammates were doing. They were a line of defense, protecting the only home they would ever know. The greatest mystery wasn't why the Brotherhood had decided to attack, it was why on earth Shadowcat was siding with them.  
  
Why would she leave? Why? Why?  
  
This had happened before. Before Asteroid M, before Alex's arrival. Avalanche, who was currently tearing the ground apart under their feet, had tricked Kitty into believing that he was in love with her. He had taken her back to the Brotherhood house and would have coerced her into joining if the X-men hadn't interfered. If the professor hadn't  
  
_(brainwashed her, turned her away from Lance)_  
  
shown her what was right, the team would have lost her.  
  
_(the team, is that all you care about?)_  
  
It was the main thing he cared about, certainly. And they couldn't have one of their most loyal members deserting them for the sake of some delinquent who would rather believe the twisted vision of the world Magnus had given him...  
  
_Magnus? Magneto, right? I never called him by his real name, not once. I didn't even think I knew it. The only person who would probably use it would be...  
_  
But he didn't have time to think about that now. Just as he opened his visor to fire another blast at their adversaries, he realized that Shadowcat was nowhere to be seen.  
  
**  
  
Hey! Hey, everybody! Up here!  
  
All eyes turned toward the highest balcony. A slender figure stood there, holding what appeared to be a cheerleading megaphone. Nobody had noticed her depart from what was now the battlefield, but everyone saw her now.  
  
That's better, Kitty continued. You know, not too long ago, a friend of mine got up in front of another big crowd and told the truth to people who deserved to hear it. Unfortunately, everything was fixed' by someone who thought the best way to teach humans to accept our presence was to erase their memories. That's right, she continued as the few who hadn't known what had really happened stared incredulously up at her. Professor Xavier has preached a thousand times over that we shouldn't use our powers against other people. That they're our equals. Isn't that what the X-men are fighting for? Equality? Justice? Freedom?  
  
The few who hadn't known were glancing uneasily at each other.  
  
Did you even think to question him? Did you even wonder how doing a thing like that was going to achieve his dream? Do any of you think for yourselves anymore, or do you just accept that because he's the one keeping you safe, he must always be right? I believed it, too, once. I wanted safety, security. I wanted to know for sure what was in store for me. I thought he knew all the answers, so I let myself be brainwashed.  
  
The ground had stopped shaking. Lance was too busy gazing up at her with an incredibly goofy grin on his face. Before she had even finished summarizing the story of what had happened between the two of them, whispers of I don't believe it, I don't believe it... had begun to circulate among the assembled X-men like a night wind. The actual wind was now blowing Kitty's hair back, stinging her face, bringing tears to her eyes. No, those had been there already. Could she say the rest of it? The last part, which would convince them if nothing else would that Xavier had to be stopped?  
  
All of you are brainwashed, she went on. And in most cases, he didn't even have to use his powers to convince you. And she looked directly at Scott. But I know one case where he did.  
  
**  
  
Rogue opened her eyes to too-bright lights and a gleaming, oddly empty room. She could sworn that someone had been with her before -- a steadfast presence, watching over her. _Alex_ was the first name that came to mind, but that was ridiculous -- he was thousands of miles away, and she had stayed here to deal with...  
  
_Xavier_. Memory came rushing back so quickly that she almost lost consciousness again. The last thing she remembered was sitting out on the balcony, anticipating her temporary escape from this madness. Then he had spoken up in her head, taunting her, telling her that she'd been caught. Then...nothing.  
  
How long had she been like this? And what had he done in the meantime?  
  
She swung her legs over the edge of the bed, and a wave of dizziness engulfed her. She sat back down again until it passed.  
  
Very distantly, she heard shouting. And like a moth drawn to a flame, she had no choice but to follow it.


	19. Angel In Disguise

Chapter 18: Angel in Disguise  
  
Night had fallen. Whether it had done so for the first time since she'd blacked out... Rogue still wasn't sure about that. And apparently, underneath the cold, starlit sky and illuminated by the floodlights, a full-scale battle had been going on without her.  
  
The Brotherhood members were huddled in a tight group, along with a red-haired girl that Rogue recognized (and it would have been in amazement if she hadn't been so disoriented) as Sara. Her own teammates (except were they still?) were staring in gap-toothed amazement at something above them.  
  
If she hadn't been jolted by Sara's presence, or the sight of Jean clinging to Scott's arm, it was the person on his other side that shook her out of her half-awake state.  
  
It was Alex.  
  
Alex, wearing an X-men uniform almost identical to Scott's.  
  
_No_, she thought. _He might want to be with me, he might want to help Scott, but he'd never join them. He'd never go along with them._  
  
_Hang on_, another part of her cautioned. _ Maybe it's not what you think!  
_  
Well, well, well, said a voice behind her. Look who's up and about.  
  
Xavier was seated in the middle of the hallway, smiling at her obvious surprise. Once they've finished dealing with our uninvited guests, I'm sure the others will overjoyed to see you -- especially our newest recruit.  
  
_I am not afraid of him. I am not._ What did you do to Alex? she asked through clenched teeth.  
  
Alex joined us completely on his own -- out of loyalty to Scott, no doubt. You may be interested in what's going on out there, Rogue. While you were indisposed, Kitty went through what I at first believed to be a bizarre transformation. She has been cutting classes and making bizarre claims. Even now, she is feeding my other X-men a ridiculous story about how I am out to control all of you.  
  
Good for her, Rogue snapped. Maybe they'll listen to her, even if they didn't listen to me.  
  
Between the two of you, you have caused a much greater deal of trouble than all our enemies combined, Xavier said smoothly. Informing Principal Kelly of our existence... fraternizing with the Brotherhood... and spreading wild stories such as this one, of course.  
  
She cranked out a laugh. Don't tell me you're still pretending it's not true. Did you really think that Kitty was going to keep quiet? Once she tells everyone what you did to Scott, there's no way you'll be able to get away with it. And once they believe her...  
  
Once they believe her, what then? They leave, cast out into a world that will fear and hate them. There is an investigation as to everything that's happened here, and the rest of you are split up. His voice was low and insinuating. Didn't you once say that a home, a loving family, was all you have ever wanted? Don't you still want that... Marie?  
  
She flinched at his use of her real name. she said truthfully, hating herself for it. Yes, you know I have. She took a tiny step forward. _This is for Scott.  
_  
I provide that. For all of you. I've given you a place to belong, people to call family. I've given you a purpose, and a means to fight for what all mutants want: to live side by side with humans.  
  
Who aren't even allowed to know that we exist, she said sharply. And not all mutants want what you want, in case you've forgotten. But at least Magneto, wherever the hell he is, never tried to brainwash his followers. I hope he's somehow found out what you've done. And I hope he's laughing. Another step forward. _For Kitty and Lance._  
  
What he thinks is none of my concern. Neither is what you think, my little Rogue.  
  
Because you can just change what I think. She took another step. _For me and Alex.  
_  
Quite right, he acknowledged. But first, I must see to it that no thoughts of rebellion enter the minds of the others. Since there are not quite as many of them as there were at the soccer game, I'm sure I can manage it. He pressed his hands to his head and closed his eyes.  
  
Now she was standing over him, her own hands still hidden. She never thought it would come to this. _For all of us. _ And then she said it aloud, even though she knew that at this point, it wasn't necessary. This is for all of us.  
  
Before he could even react, her bare hand shot out and closed over his.  
**  
  
You all know Cyclops as your fearless leader, Kitty was saying. He makes the command decisions, chooses what's best for the team, and never, ever questions Xavier...  
  
_No! They're lies! All lies! I am the leader. I can't question Xavier. He knows what's best for all of us. I have to protect the others. I have to make them understand!_ Don't listen to her! he shouted. Something's influencing her -- I don't know what -- but the professor will be able to help her!  
  
Oh, will he? she asked. Like he helped you, _Scott_? Like he helps you whenever you even think of disagreeing with him, or challenging his dream, or trying to live your own life and choose your own friends? Like he helped me when I decided that I wanted to be with Lance? Like he helped Rogue when she tried to fight him?  
  
At the mention of her name, something inside Scott wavered. Of course he didn't know what happened to Rogue. If he had, he would have tried to save her. Just like...  
  
_Just like she had promised to save him -- first that night after the dance, after Sara had been sent away, and then later, after he stood up to Xavier. She had been listening in. I tried, he said, staring at the floor.  
  
Rogue nodded. I know.  
  
He's never going to let me live this down, Scott continued as they started walking. I hate when I know he's... controlling me and I can't do anything about it, but I hate this too -- when I've managed to get free of him, at least for a little while, but I know it's not going to last. It was the matter-of-fact tone of his voice that made Rogue shiver involuntarily.  
  
Maybe it will, she said in a low voice. Maybe he's finally realized that you have a mind of your own.  
  
That's the thing, though, Scott said. He was still trying to sound calm, and failing miserably. I don't.   
  
I think it's time to tell Jean about this, Rogue said solemnly.  
  
Either she won't believe me, or she'll try to fix it. Either way, he'll get her too. Somehow. And now that you know --  
  
Yeah, yeah. I'm not safe either. You may have managed to convince Alex that it's best if he was out of reach, but you should know by now that once I've made up my mind, that's it. As long as I'm still the one making it up, that is.  
  
You can't fix this, he persisted. Nobody can. Nobody would want to. Everyone cares about Cyclops, the fearless leader. Nobody cares about me.  
  
Bull. I care about you. So do Jean and Alex. I don't know what kind of nonsense he's planted in your head, but I'm not going to let you give up. You're stronger than he thinks.  
_  
His own cry seemed to shatter the night. Kitty stopped speaking and stared down at him.  
  
Scott, what's wrong? Jean asked anxiously. He didn't hear her. A wind had sprung up, an icy wind that...  
  
_...blew on his face as Rogue leaned over him, crying his name, crying for him to hang on. He would have wondered under different circumstances how he could ever have seen her as the enemy, but his head hurt from the fall, and he was dazed from the shock..._  
  
**  
  
_...the shock of discovering that Alex was alive was nothing compared to the shock of finding out that he had sided with Scott's worst enemy. Or Xavier's worst enemy. What was the difference? Yet a voice seemed to speak inside him, telling him that it didn't matter. It didn't matter in the slightest now that they were together again. Later, he would worry about the others..._  
  
**  
  
_...Are the others okay? he choked out. Jean was holding him, gently easing him to his feet, handing over his sunglasses. I'm here, she had said, and it had been a reassurance and a promise. Yet there was obvious hurt on her face as well, left over from when she had so recently thought he had betrayed her._  
  
The three people who were most important to him. The three people who saw who he really was, not just one of Xavier's weapons.  
  
Faster and faster the memories emerged, as if someone had opened a jar of demons. Yet these demons might just be angels in disguise.  
  
_Angels.  
  
Be our angel, Kate._ He had forced those words out just as he had felt Xavier creeping inside his head again, taking control. And, remembering this as the world seemed to fade around him, Scott Summers managed to say two more words, ones he should have said a long time ago: Never again. It was all he could say before he fell into darkness.  



	20. When the Battle's Lost and Won

Chapter 19: When The Battle's Lost and Won  
  
The police arrived as per request by a frantic-sounding girl who identified herself on the phone as Marie Adler. They were accompanied by an ambulance that retrieved two unconscious victims. The one inside had been slumped in a wheelchair, and Marie had stared at the floor as she said, Yes. He's the one who was threatening me. He's alive. Take him away.  
  
It was the scene outside that ranked very high on Officer Kincaid's list of the strangest things he had seen in all his years on the police force. Like something out of a comic book. All those kids in crazy skintight costumes, including the other unconscious guy. He was sprawled on the ground, with a red-haired girl at his side, clutching his hand. Don't hurt him, she said as they loaded him into the ambulance. And don't touch that visor he's got on. Everyone else was staring, shocked. Their eyes travelled from one stretcher to the other... then to Marie. They all began asking questions at once.  
  
Was it true, what Kitty was saying?  
  
What's wrong with Scott?  
  
What's wrong with the professor? Did _you_ do this?  
  
Why would you hurt him? Huh? I thought you were one of us.  
  
Why are the police here? What did you tell them?  
  
Would someone mind please telling me what's going on here? Kincaid shouted.  
  
I will, Marie said.  
  
Good. You wouldn't mind coming with us, would you?  
  
Someone has to stay here with them.  
  
No problem.  
  
The crowd of oddly dressed teenagers had begun talking amongst themselves. The red-haired girl was crying.  
  
Marie turned back toward them as Kincaid led her away. Nobody had better try anything funny, she called. They're here to help us. I'll be back soon.  
  
**  
  
Scott was hanging in a half-awake state, unsure of his surroundings or what had happened. But he was aware of something like a bed beneath him, of his sunglasses hooked behind his ears...  
  
...and of the gentle touch of fingertips on either side of his head.  
  
Panic, then bleak despair, stole over him. It had all been a dream, of course. Xavier was there, and soon his mental hands would tighten around Scott's consciousness again. It was stupid to think that escape had even been a possibility.  
  
He braced himself and waited.  
  
Come on, Scott. Open your eyes.  
  
The voice wasn't the one he had feared, but he still didn't trust it. It could be a trick.  
  
There's no trick. God, you're paranoid. He's not gonna hurt you anymore. It's all okay.  
  
Scott opened his eyes.  
  
Rogue lowered her hands and grinned. How's it feel to be back?  
  
He stared around what was obviously a hospital room, then at Alex, who was on the other side of his bed, then back at Rogue. What... how did you... he began.  
  
Her smile faded. I absorbed Xavier's power. I knocked him out, but I didn't kill him. I... couldn't. I called the police, though. They've been questioning the others. There's probably going to be a major investigation, and a trial, too, once Xavier recovers. She said all of this very fast.  
  
Everyone else is okay, then?  
  
They're pretty shaken up, in more ways than one, said Alex. We've each told some, but not all, of what was really going on there. It's your call whether you want it all to come out or whether you want us to stay under wraps.  
  
_And we're back under wraps, where we should be. I'm sorry, Professor. You were right... _Scott suppressed a shudder. His head was still spinning with this rush of information. Xavier out of commission... the others under investigation... their secret possibly blown. What's going to happen if I tell everything?  
  
It's hard to say, Alex replied. They've never had to deal with mutants before, and there's a possibility that they'll freak out and lock us all up. But to make a convincing case, we'll probably have to tell the whole truth about the X-men. And we can't do that without saying what we are.  
  
They looked at him, his brother and the girl who had saved his life. She'd saved all of their lives, in fact. But now it was up to him again, and they were trusting him to make the right decision.  
  
What if they did tell all? People might not take it that well -- they tended to be weird about things that were... weird. And if Rogue was right, and Xavier did wake up... Scott didn't try to stop himself from shivering at that thought. _I'm afraid of him_, he thought. _God help me, but I am._  
  
You don't have to be, Rogue said. Not anymore. When she looked sharply at him, she bit her lip. Sorry. It'll wear off soon, and hopefully I'll have his slimy thoughts out of my head. So, what do you say? Do we come clean?  
  
What was the right decision? Was freedom really worth the risk? If it was revealed that there were mutants in the world, what would be that world's reaction? It would just be another way of being enslaved, as they sacrificed everything not to anger a race that would fear them.  
  
Yet he couldn't help but recall Xavier's somewhat twisted dream of a peaceful coexistence between two races. Until just recently, it had never occurred to Scott to wonder how such a thing could be achieved if they were forever hiding. And -- maybe this was the most shameful thing of all -- he still wanted acceptance. He was so damn tired of pretending.  
  
_They're looking to me. I have to be the leader one last time._ I'll tell them, he said.  
  
As if on cue, two newcomers appeared in the doorway. Scott Summers? the policewoman asked.  
  
He nodded. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Rogue and Alex slip discreetly past the two officers and out into the hall.  
  
I'm Officer Halloran, she continued, then indicated her partner. This is Officer Kincaid. We're going to ask you some questions about what went on last night.  
  
Last night? Scott repeated. He suddenly realized that there were no windows, and he had absolutely no idea how long he'd been out.  
  
It's Saturday already, Officer Kincaid said with a smile. Technically, anyway. A good place to start, in fact, would be why you were out cold when we found you. Then we'd like to know who all those people were.  
  
The two of you had better sit down, Scott advised. This could take a while.  
  
**  
  
Rogue was silent for most of the drive back to the Institute, where the others would be waiting. When she finally spoke, it was to say, I'm not sure that I did the right thing.  
  
Well, that proves that you didn't absorb too much of his personality, Alex tried to joke. Seeing that she was dead serious, his smile dropped. You did do the right thing. Scott's doing the right thing. It was time for a change, and you know that.  
  
But what does it mean for all mutants? What if we're right, and they do try to lock us up?  
  
That won't happen. Alex stared straight ahead.  
  
But what if it does? I can't accept responsibility for what will happen to the other X-men. They're still my family, even after all this.  
  
If the general public' does turn against us, we'll just have to deal with it, Alex said after reflecting for a moment. We've dealt with worse, God knows I have. And it'll be up to us to see that the war Magneto was always going on about doesn't happen.  
  
Don't remind me, she said. So it looks like we'll have to do just what Xavier always wanted us to do. I've been working and working to keep him out of my head, and now it looks like he's there to stay. Her voice shook a little. So on top of everything else, I have to worry about that. I held on for a really long time, you know. What if his personality just decides to... take over?  
  
Now that definitely won't happen, Alex said firmly. It's not really Xavier. His thoughts in your head are just ghosts.  
  
I guess, she said, but she was still afraid, and he knew it, and she knew he knew, and so on.   
  
You've been through enough -- worrying about us, taking care of us.  
  
Old habits die hard.  
  
How about letting someone else take care of you for a little while? Alex asked with a smile. It'd only be temporary, so don't worry.  
  
She found herself smiling back at him. It was a minor miracle that she could still smile at all. Damn him for having that effect on her. I'd like that.


	21. Aftershocks

A/N: Well, obviously, my story deviates from Evo continuity, because of Joyride and everything. That was a great episode, though -- major Lancitty shipping, and multiple glimpses of Lance in his underwear. Sigh.  
  
Chapter 20: Aftershocks  
  
Home is where you start from, not where you happen to be.  
-- Janet Taylor Lisle  
  
Todd yelped, literally bouncing off the walls. We did it! No more Xavier! No more X-Geeks!  
  
Remind me never to diss Kitty-Cat again, Pietro added. She showed guts, man.  
  
Lance acknowledged. She did. Her friends had finally managed to at least partially accept that Xavier hadn't been what he seemed. It helped, of course, that he had been in the process of mind-wiping Kitty's audience when Rogue had stopped him. Now it was uncertain whether he would wake up, and Lance was glad.  
  
I like the way you guys operate, Sara spoke up. Any chance I could stick around for a while?  
  
The three boys exchanged looks. I dunno, said Todd. It might be like Tabby all over again. All three of them shivered.  
  
Tabby who? Sara asked curiously.  
  
Before your time, Pietro said hastily. Look, Sara, don't you have, you know, a real family somewhere?  
  
She snorted. They never gave a damn about me. I was the one who wasn't Jean, that's all. They think it serves me right that I'm a mutant -- long story. And I wouldn't fit in with the X-men, even now.  
  
Pietro looked like he was going to open his mouth again, but was interrupted by the ringing of the phone. A second later, he was shouting from the kitchen, Hey, Lancey-Boy! Guess who?  
  
Lance made a beeline for the phone.   
  
It's me, Kitty, she said.   
  
Her voice sounded oddly choked up. What's wrong, cat girl?  
  
Can you come over here? They won't throw things at you unless you're wearing that space-cowboy getup, I promise. I really have to talk to you.  
  
I'm on my way, said Lance. He hung up and turned to the others. Don't make any life-changing decisions without me, okay?  
  
**  
  
The others are still pretty shaken up, said Kitty. Especially Jean. She won't talk to anybody.  
  
Not even Summers?  
  
_Especially_ not Scott. She thinks it's mostly his fault. None of us can believe it. I can barely believe it myself. I did trust Xavier, and I did believe him, even before.  
  
So Storm's in charge of the Institute now? Lance surmised.  
  
  
  
That's good. Means that you and your friends won't be separated. Kitty was silent, staring at the floor.   
  
I talked to my parents this morning, she said, beginning to pace. He'd never seen her do that before. I knew there were a few things I was going to have to tell them.  
  
Like about us? Lance guessed.  
  
More than that. Evan and I are the only ones who were sent here by our families. I know he talks to his parents once in a while, but I don't know how much he's told them. Whenever I talk to mine, there's a lot of things that I leave out. Important things. Like that I was risking my life to fight for truth and justice, for one.  
  
Lance understood. They didn't know you were an X-Geek?  
  
There was no way they were going to be okay with it, so I didn't tell them. I hated myself for it, but -- she looked away -- Xavier thought it would be best, and I believed him. Anyway, I thought that once I had told my parents the truth, the fact that we were together would seem so...  
  
he supplied with an evil grin.  
  
Bingo. But I never even got to that part. They had both picked up different phone extensions, and they both started shouting at once. I guess it was lucky, because I probably would have had to get to the part about how Xavier had brainwashed me.  
  
So what happened?  
  
The jist of it is -- she took a deep breath -- they don't want me here anymore. I tried to tell them that Ororo and Logan would take good care of me, but they wouldn't listen. I'm leaving in a couple months, as soon as school's over.  
  
Can't you talk to them? Make them understand that you want to stay here?  
  
I _tried_, but Ororo thinks it would be a good idea too.  
  
He couldn't believe this. Or maybe that's not what you want. Maybe now that mutants are big news, you can't deal with it and want to start hiding again.  
  
Lance, don't be ridiculous! she snapped.  
  
No, I'll tell you what's ridiculous! His voice was rising. What's ridiculous is that whenever I really think I'm going to have another chance at the best thing that's ever happened to me, something comes along and screws it up. I thought you were finally ready to face facts!  
  
What facts are those?  
  
That you're different and you always will be. That's one. And the former X-Geeks are your freaking_ family_ now, that's another. No way was he going to lose her again. No way. You may think I don't know anything about family, but you're wrong about that. I've learned a thing or two since the guys and I started looking out for each other, and one of those things is that you never ditch the people you care about. I guess you never realized that. In fact, I know you didn't.  
  
I didn't ditch you! she protested. I thought you'd tried to kill me!  
  
Because the Telepath from the Black Lagoon had brainwashed you, right? That's no excuse. I never would have used it. A lie, but he was too angry and upset to think about that now. Kitty, I love you. And you feel the same way about me. You've said it yourself, so why do you keep letting stupid things keep us apart? You don't belong in your old life. You belong with your friends. You belong with me.  
  
You know, I'm getting the weirdest sense of deja vu! she said before she could stop herself. Doesn't this seem familiar to you, Lance? Forget them, you're with me!' Does that ring a bell with you?  
  
So you're saying it's the same thing again? he demanded. Me forcing you to give up everything to be with me?  
  
No, it's different. Because I'm not that person anymore. Not the girl that my family wanted me to be, but not innocent little Shadowcat either. And you're not my enemy or a threat. You're the last person I'd ever want to hurt.  
  
Then why don't you stay?  
  
Because I need to put some distance between me and this crisis for a while.   
  
The former X-men _were_ her family; there was no doubt about that. She would miss everybody, especially Kurt and Rogue. And most especially, she would miss the boy who was asking her to make the same decision again. Last time, she never would have imagined that he had been doing it out of love. This time, she didn't doubt it for a second.  
  
she said quietly.  
  
  
  
I'm not leaving because I think I'm too good for you, or because I don't want to be with you. And it's definitely not because I've stopped loving you, or that I plan to stop.  
  
Doesn't matter. I got this crazy habit of losing things I've trusted or cared about. Some things never change.  
  
And some do, she said. Look how much has changed since Mystique got it into her head to send one of you guys to spy on us. If that hadn't happened, none of this would have. Some things are just meant to happen, and us finding each other was one of them. She took a cautious step toward him. And no matter where I go, you haven't lost me, and you never will.  
  
A/N: Will Lance and Kitty be tragically separated? Will Jean be able to face reality? (Do we care?) Will our villain make a major comeback? Keep reading!  
  



	22. Sorrow and Joy

A/N: Long chapter -- very long chapter! It's also like what the macaroni and cheese people say about their products: dangerously cheesy. You have been warned.  
  
Chapter 21: Sorrow and Joy  
  
Xavier's trial was held in early spring. Since the courts had never dealt with mind-control cases before, the actual charges were extortion and two or three other words that Kitty had never heard before, but she knew they weren't anything good.  
  
Despite Scott's original wishes, the whole truth about the X-men was kept strictly off the record. Still, it was his testimony that was the most convincing (even though Kitty deserved some credit for delivering hers without a single or ). He wondered if any of them knew how badly he wanted to scream when he was brought face to face with his former guardian.  
  
Nonetheless, the story he told, as well as Kitty's (she made sure to add that she'd been told not to inform her parents of what she was really doing) and Rogue's, were enough for Xavier to be faced with imprisonment and careful observation. He was also forbidden contact with any of his former charges, although enforcing that would not be easy.  
  
When Scott turned to Xavier and said, I'm sorry, Professor, Rogue thought she might faint then and there. But then he added, You always told me to make the decisions that were best for the others, so that's what I'm doing. I wish it didn't have to be this way.  
  
**  
  
The day after the trial, Jean found Scott sitting on a bench in one of the front gardens. He almost didn't recognize her when he looked up. Your hair, he said like an idiot.  
  
She sat down next to him. You like it? Her hair was cropped just below her ears. I was ready for a change. It's not like everything else isn't changing already. She sounded like she'd been crying, or was about to. I can't believe it, she said. I can't. I just can't.  
  
I could have told you what I thought was happening. And I should have.  
  
I should have guessed! she burst out. I always thought I knew you, Scott. I thought I would know when something was wrong. And I suspected, I think, after we had to practice fighting Rogue that time, and after that whole Asteroid M thing. I wondered if maybe it wasn't you I was hearing. But I guess I didn't want to believe it.  
  
I understand.  
  
I told myself that Xavier would never, ever try to control us. That I was being ridiculous and paranoid. And also... She swallowed. That even if he was, you wouldn't let him. If I admitted what I thought, then that would mean that he would have betrayed me... and you would have, too. But it was the other way around, wasn't it?  
  
What are you talking about? Scott asked. You didn't betray me.  
  
I wasn't there for you. I refused to believe what I was seeing. I went off with Duncan when things got a little too weird. She bit her lip. So powerful, she whispered. And so damned _smart_. Kitty was right. Even if he had never touched my mind, I still would have been fooled.  
  
It's okay, he insisted.   
  
I don't think it is, she said. Not yet. She paused, not sure she wanted to even approach this. Maybe I could understand what happened to you if I saw it for myself.  
  
Scott said nothing. After a moment, he shrugged his consent.  
  
Her first glance into his mind was stopped short by a hostile dart of a thought  
  
_(a telepath just like him stay away)  
_  
that caused Jean to jerk back for a second and wonder if this was even a good idea at all. He wasn't looking at her -- it was as if he were reading her thoughts as surely as she was trying to read his. And she knew, without even trying, that he was still ashamed, still confused, and still scared. Scott may have looked and spoken like his old confident self, but he was still a veritable mess inside.  
  
And she knew that it was going to be a long time -- a very long time -- before he let anyone into his mind again. She could accept that, no, she could understand it completely. But she knew on her own that he didn't hate or fear _her_, not in the slightest. There are a lot of things that I still have to get used to. But you're not alone anymore, okay?  
  
What have I always said? Scott asked, now sounding almost amused. When you're with the X-men --  
  
You're never alone, Jean finished, and pulled him in for a kiss.  
  
**  
  
Come on, just take the picture already! Kitty moaned.  
  
Don't rush me, okay? Logan growled. This is the only shot we're gonna get of Alvers in a tuxedo, and I want it to be just right.  
  
So he can use it for blackmail later, Rogue stage-whispered.  
  
Well, what did you expect him to wear? Kitty demanded. The space-cowboy look is a definite prom   
  
When are you going to stop calling it that?  
  
Okay, everyone smile, or else! Logan directed.  
  
Everybody did. Only Alex and Rogue were looking at the camera, though. Scott was too busy staring at Jean to notice that Lance had been making devil-horns behind his head.  
  
I saw that. One more, okay? No messing around.  
  
When several token devil-horn-free photos had been taken, last-minute makeup adjustments made, and blackmail accusations emphatically denied, the seven of them (Kurt had insisted on going despite the fact that, if his attempts to get a date had been any indication, chicks did _not_ dig the fuzzy dude) piled into the van.  
  
The dance was in the spacious courtyard of Jackson's Hotel. They would have held it inside if it had been raining, but it was a perfect, warm, starry night, with just a hint of a breeze. The courtyard was already crowded with their classmates, whom Kitty, for one, barely recognized. Was that mousy Greta Nichols, dancing very close with King Kent of Prepdom? Was that Duncan, looking classy enough that she could almost have seen why Jean had fallen for him? Was that Taryn clinging to his arm?  
  
Risty's high-pitched British accent was unmistakeable. She was swathed in a purple gown a shade lighter than her hair. I didn't think you were feeling up to coming.  
  
It's been tough, Rogue admitted. But I'm finally up to mingling again.  
  
You're looking good, said Risty, surveying Rogue's trailing red dress. I don't think I've ever seen you in a color other than black or green. Her gaze fell on Alex. Don't tell me that this is the surfer boy of your dreams.  
  
None other. Alex Summers -- Risty Wilde.  
  
They both said hi. Rogue tells me that you live in Hawaii, Risty added.  
  
Past tense, Alex told her. Rogue stared at him. He grinned at her, obviously relishing her surprise.  
  
She changed the subject. Who'd you come with? she asked her friend.  
  
As if on cue, a gawky, bespectacled boy materialized. There you are! Weber, the class computer geek, exclaimed. I thought we were going to dance.  
  
We are. I'm socializing. You know what that means?  
  
Rogue knew full well that Weber wouldn't know social skills if they bit him on his unusually large nose, but she had a feeling that Risty was having a lot more fun with him than she let on. See you guys later! she called as Alex led her away. When were you planning on telling me that you were staying?  
  
I told my parents about it after Xavier... Alex trailed off and started over. They weren't too crazy about it at first, and I don't think that they are even now. I told them that I wanted to stay with Scott. And with you, obviously. The Institute is like home to me. You were right -- living there does have that effect on a person.  
  
I _warned_ you, she said dramatically, only vaguely aware that they'd started dancing. She changed the subject, promising to get back to this one later. Remember when we danced together for the first time?  
  
Sure. You thought we'd look too weird, and I said no way.  
  
And that same night, I told you that Xavier had been controlling Kitty and Scott, and he blamed it on Sara.  
  
Don't talk about that now, he advised.  
  
I'm trying not to even think about it. But now everything's changing again. Xavier's gone, Kitty's leaving, you're staying... and I guess I have to find something else to concentrate on now that this is over.  
  
You really, really think it's over?  
  
I really, really do.  
  
And now I guess you're going to have to focus on school and friendships and boys, just like a normal girl! The horror, the horror!  
  
You stop, Rogue instructed.  
  
I assume that I'm somewhere on that list, though, right?  
  
Sugah, you know you are. And I was mad because you didn't tell me, not because you're staying.  
  
Well, I did have a bunch of good reasons, Alex said defensively.  
  
You told me some of them. What else?   
  
Well, I love you, for one.  
  
Rogue stared. She'd been half-anticipating, half dreading this moment, but now that it had taken her completely by surprise, she couldn't think of a better place for it to come out. And she'd never been more sure of how she wanted to reply. Well, now that we've gotten _that_ cleared up, I love you too. So, are we good?  
  
We're good. And they kept dancing.  
  
**  
  
I bet Jean's got her sights set on being Prom Queen, Kitty said into Lance's shoulder during a particularly slow, gushy song.  
  
It wouldn't surprise me.  
  
You and Sara aren't planning to drop a bucket of pig's blood on her head if she does win, are you? Kitty asked suspiciously.  
  
Sara isn't even here. She and Pietro are back at the house, making up for lost time. He snickered. And I'm not planning any nasty pranks on Red. She may be annoying as hell, but she's not a total wuss. She'd probably go psycho just like Carrie did. Same power and everything.  
  
God help us all. She knew that she was trying to keep herself in the moment, trying not to think about the not-too-distant future, when she'd have to go home to parents who could barely accept what she was, and leave behind everything that mattered to her. But she knew that she couldn't pretend it wasn't happening. It's not fair!  
  
What's not fair? Lance asked.  
  
Just when we're finally moving on without Xavier, and you and I are in the middle of this great thing, I have to leave.  
  
So don't go!  
  
We've been through this, she said patiently.  
  
Lance was about to reply when they were approached by a blonde girl in a clingy Pepto-Bismol-colored dress. Hi, Kitty, she said.  
  
Hi, Danielle, Kitty said warily. She obviously suspected some kind of trick. Lance didn't blame her.  
  
It's just, like, so incredible that you guys ended up together, said Tessa, who was standing behind Danielle with the rest of the flock. I didn't think that you went shopping around in the bad-boy area.  
  
Lance wondered what would happen if he caused the ground underneath Tessa's feet to open up and swallow her. Probably nothing good, although he was amused by the thought.   
  
Tess, a boy isn't something that I go and shop for when there's a sale, Kitty was saying.  
  
Tessa said sarcastically. Wonder what he did to her that makes her so crazy to go out with him, she whispered to Danielle, obviously meaning for Kitty to hear.  
  
Lance clenched one fist, but Kitty laid a hand on his arm to subdue him. _I stood up to the most powerful telepath in ten kingdoms, who also happens to be the most evil. This should not be hard._ Just get out of my face, she told Tessa. Like I said to someone else, who I decide to be with is none of your business. I'm having a total meltdown here trying to remember when it ever _was_ your business. Happy shopping. And the two of them vanished pointedly into the crowd. She sighed. Even after everything that's happened, that felt really good.  
  
I still think you should have let me handle it, Lance objected.  
  
What, and risk a repeat of the soccer game incident?  
  
There's not going to _be_ a repeat of the soccer game incident, Lance said firmly. Xavier's locked away, I'm not as much of a dumbass as I was then, we're together, and we still have some time before that last thing isn't true anymore. He pulled her close. Let's not waste it.  
  
Kitty didn't need him to suggest that. She was already in perfect agreement. Not for the first time, she wished for a different power -- except now it was the power to stop time, so that she could stay in this moment forever.


	23. Where Your Road Leads

Chapter 22: Where Your Road Leads  
  
Lance was silent as Kitty methodically placed her clothes and other belongings in her two suitcases. Time had passed far too quickly for both of them, but he knew that it was going to move unbearably slowly as he waited to see her again. That was just the way things worked.  
  
He had volunteered to drive her to the train station, and even his housemates had understood. Pietro, blessedly, had kept his big mouth shut.  
  
Say something, she said when everything was safely packed away.  
  
Like what?  
  
Like anything. That you'll miss me.  
  
I thought you knew that, he said. I was just trying to convince myself that we'll see each other again.  
  
Sure we will. I'm planning to tell my parents about you as soon as I get the chance. Remember that guy who tried to wreck my school with the three of us still inside it? Well, I'm madly in love with him.' She looked around the room that was now stripped of any sign of her presence. And leaving him behind was the hardest thing that I've ever had to do.  
  
Don't start crying again, Lance told her. I hate it when you do that.  
  
Well, thank you very much!  
  
It's 'cause you weren't meant to be sad, he explained. Rogue was, maybe, even though you'd never know it now. Or Pietro, even though he still never shows it. But not you.  
  
She kissed his cheek and picked up her bags. You'd better stay in here, she whispered. It'll get pretty sappy.  
  
I'm prepared.  
  
The (former) X-men were gathered together in the front room. Kitty stepped forward and cleared her throat. she began, then looked back over her shoulder at Lance. Last chance to leave. He didn't budge. Okay. Here's my goodbye speech. If I had my way, I'd be staying with you guys forever. I don't feel like I fit in with you because I'm a freak, or because we were united for a common purpose. It's because you're my family, and the fact that we're still a family even without him... I guess that proves that some things are forever. Oh, God, where was she getting this?   
  
Rogue was the first to come forward. She hugged Kitty carefully. Don't go all ditz just because I'm not there, she whispered.  
  
I won't, Kitty replied. Thanks, Marie. For everything.  
  
Kurt was next. Lance vill take good care of you. I know he vill. I trust you both. He gave a rueful smile. I guess it's about time.  
  
She agreed, and moved on to Logan, who told her to take good care, half-pint. Then to Ororo, Evan, Scott, Alex, and Jean. There was a round of what-will-we-do-without-you's. she replied. Like you have been doing. Keeping the tears down was harder than she ever could have imagined. I love you all.  
  
Only once did she look over her shoulder as Lance led her outside. She'd never realized until now how much she hated goodbyes -- up until now, she hadn't had to say a whole lot of them. Now it was goodbye to the place that had been her home for over a year, goodbye to Kurt's practical jokes and Rogue's eccentricities and constant feuding with the Brotherhood. Goodbye to a life that had to be stretched to the breaking point in order to include school, friendships, training, and battles with the forces of darkness. Goodbye to Xavier, who had only wanted to make the world a little better. His influence had finally lifted, and Kitty knew she was leaving her team -- her family -- in good standing.  
  
_Goodbye to Shadowcat, too,_ she thought. _And good riddance_.  
  
**  
  
They had purposely arrived at the station early, so that they'd have the illusion of just a little more time together. But once they got there, it was a long time before they could think of anything to say.  
  
I'm going to write it all down, Kitty said at last. Everything from when I first discovered that I was a mutant until...  
  
Until what? Lance asked.  
  
Until happily ever after, I guess.  
  
If that ever comes.  
  
It will, she promised.   
  
And are you going to get all of this published?  
  
If anyone will take it, absolutely. Think of it: _The Memoirs of Katherine Pryde_.  
  
I like the sound of it.  
  
Which reminds me. She dug in her pocket and removed a folded piece of paper. I wrote this for you.  
  
What is it? Lance wanted to know.  
  
My address, so you can write to me. And -- she blushed -- a poem. I wrote it the other day.  
  
When the train clattered into the station and the doors slid open, neither Lance nor Kitty wanted to move forward first. And again, neither of them wanted to speak first, but it was Lance who finally did. I can't believe this is happening, he said.   
  
I can't believe it either. But all the other times, we weren't sure.  
  
Sure about what? Lance asked, confused.  
  
Kitty shrugged. Of how we felt. I thought you hated me, or vice versa. I'm never going to make that mistake again.  
  
Me neither. Tears pricked the backs of Lance's eyes.  
  
She smiled, her voice gentle and incredulous. Are you crying?  
  
And now he could pretend that it was true by closing his eyes, because it's polite to do so when you're kissing someone. He held her so tightly that she could hardly breathe... and she hardly cared. She tasted tears, and wasn't sure who they belonged to. I'm going to miss you, Lance added when they separated. You're the only thing that's ever made me feel like my life wasn't a mistake.  
  
If it is, it's the best one you've ever made. They kissed again. I'm going to miss you, too, Kitty whispered. She stepped back and walked toward the train. Even when it started moving, Lance could see her face through the window. Their eyes locked, and he waved until it disappeared, carrying his cat girl farther and farther away.  
  
He walked back toward his jeep and got in, but didn't start it. Instead, he unfolded the poem Kitty had given him.  
_  
They said I had a gift  
Something I never asked for  
That let me become a ghost  
Every second, less real.  
  
They said I had to hide  
Pretend that all was well  
I refused to face the truth  
The silence called, and I gave in.  
  
True to one name, you pierced my heart  
With the sweet sting of reality  
When I became a quiet ghost  
You were the voice that broke the silence  
  
Known by another name, you shook up my world  
Showed me the pain of deception  
The nature of betrayal  
The possibility of forgiveness  
  
You came from a darkened past  
Into artificial light  
Counting the days  
Until the two would blend  
  
When they said I must close my eyes  
I could not pretend pretend the truth meant nothing  
Or forget that you once found this ghost girl  
Kept her eyes open  
And made her real._  
  
He read it again, then a third time. Lance didn't know the first thing about poetry, and neither knew nor cared whether it would be considered good by this tight-assed critic or that. For a moment he just sat there, letting the memories pour in like the fuel he would need for whatever came next.   
  
When he got home, he would challenge the others to a game of Tackle Frisbee -- no powers allowed, and the loser would be in charge of dinner. Someone would have to explain the rules to Sara, but he was sure she'd pick it up. Pietro would be snapping out instructions, and he'd get all tense when someone informed him that he sounded a lot like the boss when he did that.  
  
And after that... what? What did the future hold for the Brotherhood? Would Xavier make a comeback, and would they be forced to fight him again? What would happen if their leaders returned, and found their goals already acheived? And what if they _didn't_ return? Lance still held fast to what he'd said numerous times: that the four of them -- the _five_ of them, he amended -- were on their own, and it was up to him to decide what was best.  
  
And somehow, that prospect wasn't as frightening as it had been in the past.  
  
Kitty had shown him many things, but among them was a truth that had passed him by the first time: sometimes, life was good to a person, or at least good enough to start them in the right direction until they could find their own way.  
  
When he saw her again -- for he was sure that he would -- he'd thank her personally for making him see that. The story that had begun when she'd fallen headlong from a closed locker, and penetrated the walls around his own heart, was far from over. And he was certain of another thing, too: something that most people would probably think he was too young, or too stupid, to know: when those memoirs of hers were published, the name on the cover wouldn't be Katherine Pryde.  
  
It would be Katherine Alvers.  
  
Lance started the car and drove away.  
  
A/N: PLEASE READ THIS! I'm asking for your opinion once again: should I do a sequel, or wrap everything up with an epilogue? Despite what a great deal of you said, I did not kill of Xavier, so he could still escape and try to control everyone again. And I know that I said this was a trilogy, but Douglas Adams said the same thing about his Hitchhiker books. So, who wants a sequel?   



End file.
